Take Care of Yourself

[digitS']

"I'm not gonna do it." so said my Uncle Chris.

This isn't a happy post. I thought it was informative and enlightening to read about self-care and language.

I follow several linguists on Twitter. I was trained to do research by linguists, not because I was doing research on language but because they are darn clever people and I was lucky that a couple of them helped me dodge past the archeologists to get to know some living people . Besides, language is how we do most of our sharing of ourselves ... it isn't all tracking a debris trail ....... ..

Uncle Chris was the youngest of 9 siblings and a good-looking, dark haired guy - big, with muscles. His sisters admitted they spoiled him. He was quite a lot older than me but I met one of his girl friends and his wife - they spoiled him, too.

He had just turned 70 and had lived with diabetes for a number of years. Other than smoking too much, I don't think he had any other health problems ... other than losing his will to stay around any longer. He died just months after saying that.

I came across an interesting study of language and self-care the other day. Here is a newspaper story about it: "Do we need to end our war on cancer?"

The research stories also led me to this: "Coming to Terms." It's an on-going NYTimes blog about a woman's experiences with treatment and life with illness.

What it seems to come down to is that folks can take care of themselves but if they think that they are arming themselves against an enemy, they will miss the mark ... there I go, using a military term. It ain't gonna work. We need to treat ourselves and others kindly or it just ~ ain't gonna work.

Steve

 

[so lucky]

The Coming to Terms article was very thought provoking. Well, both were. I have always wondered if people who knew they weren't going to "win the war" felt like failures. Strange, humiliating, demeaning war words.

 

[Beekissed]

I agree. I also find phrases like "battling cancer" or "cancer survivor" and the many other such words label someone suffering from cancer to be more courageous and romanticized than someone suffering from something less dramatic but just as terminal...like ALS, MS, or even diabetes, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, or even simple old age. Never once have I read an obituary wherein someone "lost their battle with hypertension", though they must have "fought" against that health issue just the same as those with any other illness.

As a nurse I've worked both oncology and hospice, so I got to see both ends of the cancer "battle" and I'm still not convinced the euphemistic terminology used for that illness is of any benefit to the patient at all. It's not a badge of courage nor does it elevate someone to hero status to have an illness...it's just an illness, not any less or more dramatic than any other illness in my eyes.

I do, however, feel like it keeps some patients from making their own health choices or even seeking out hospice services because they are told by many that not treating for an illness or going on hospice means someone is giving up hope. Nothing could be further from the truth but that is repeated like a mantra.

It's not giving up, nor losing hope, to accept one's current state of well being and take steps to adapt to it. A person should have health care choices like hospice without being accused of giving up hope or giving up the "fight" with cancer. Not everyone sees any benefit from the poison, slash and burn kind of lifestyle that a diagnosis of cancer seems to throw one into.

For example....a few years ago I was having symptoms that mimicked breast and skin cancer and had decided to do nothing about them. Just live much like I had every day up until that time. I had friends and family members who got very angry about my choice and made me feel like I was stupid~yes, that word was used, suicidal, stupid, lazy, and even mentally impaired if I didn't want to treat for cancer. All of that without even a diagnosis of cancer, mind you, just symptoms....symptoms that turned out to be NOT cancer, BTW. All that drama and hatred directed towards me because I wanted to make my own health care choice about the possibility of the big C.

Drama. All just needless drama over something that should be a natural part of our life here on Earth...we live, we die..sometimes we get sick before we die, but it's a surety that 10 out of 10 people are going to die here. There's really nothing romantic about illness, so all the dramatic terminology is a little ridiculous.

 

[digitS']

For people without illness, this preparation for a fight leads to closing off of alternatives and healthy choices. Have you noticed how aggressively some people smoke a cigarette ..?

Uncle Chris spent his old age in a fatalistic mope ... not a healthy choice, either.

We are getting played ... (another idiom) whereas, it is our life to live.

Steve

 

[digitS']

David J. Hauser, one of the authors of the study and article:

"When you metaphorically frame something, it forces you to think about that concept in terms of another, easier to understand concept.

"So whenever we metaphorically frame cancer as an enemy, then that causes people to bring attributes of how to deal with enemies onto their ideas about how to deal with cancer. And a major part of dealing with enemies involves active engagement and attacking at all costs.

"In contrast to that, it de-emphasizes self-limitation and behavioral restraint.

"What we were finding in a couple of studies was that simple exposure to these enemy metaphors for cancer were actually dampening people's thoughts of limitation and restraint because that's just not how you fight enemies." LINK

Can some cancer be prevented? Of course.

• Do we have a War on Fire to make our homes, workplaces, and public spaces more safe? Of course not.
• Do we have a War on Tobacco? Some folks may think so but I can freely buy cigarettes within blocks of my home and smoke as many as I wish.
• Do we have a War on Windshields and Car Interiors to make sure that children have car seats? It would be absurd.

We have conversations about safe environments, prevention of injuries, and healthy behavior. We have not just left it all up to individuals to figure out. Ultimately, there are choices to be made but coming to the problem, and the table, long before there is critical need only makes sense.

Steve

 

[so lucky]

Several years ago, one of my work mates' father died of cancer. She had absolutely nothing good to say about the American Cancer Society, seeming to harbor a lot of anger towards them. Not having ever dealt with them myself, I do not know if they are helpful or not, but I know they wield a lot of power and influence in how people feel they must "fight" when they or a loved one has cancer.
Who really benefits from all the "fight" to live a few months longer full of horribly expensive drugs?
Would I (will I) have the courage to fight in my own way when the time comes?
I don't fear dying, but I'm pretty much a chicken when it comes to pain.

 

[digitS']

Okay.

But, what about not getting cancer? Do we have a War with the Sun? No, we apply our sunscreen, wear our hat, etc.

To do otherwise makes me think of the major league baseball player who just ended his season because of a serious hand injury. Seems his father-in-law told him to "Man Up!" The player hit him.

... Steve

Reminds me

 

[digitS']

Let's lighten this up :

Steve

 

[Beekissed]

Several years ago, one of my work mates' father died of cancer. She had absolutely nothing good to say about the American Cancer Society, seeming to harbor a lot of anger towards them. Not having ever dealt with them myself, I do not know if they are helpful or not, but I know they wield a lot of power and influence in how people feel they must "fight" when they or a loved one has cancer.
Who really benefits from all the "fight" to live a few months longer full of horribly expensive drugs?
Would I (will I) have the courage to fight in my own way when the time comes?
I don't fear dying, but I'm pretty much a chicken when it comes to pain.

Cancer is a trillion dollar business here in the states. That business has the best people working on their advertising campaign to sway the public's opinion on it all and, make no mistake, it IS a business. They have no true interest in "finding a cure"...think of the people who would lose all that money and the jobs at stake there. The non-profit organizations like ACS that are raking in billions. People like the Merck pharmaceutical company who, BTW, developed the protocol for cancer treatment that is enforced in every state but California...and are also the same people who provide the drugs for that treatment. Fox in the hen house? You bet.

I've personally seen doctors take patients to surgery to "remove tumors to help alleviate pain" when they knew without a doubt the patient wouldn't live through the surgery...or even until the end of that day if they didn't bother with the surgery. Every single ounce of money is drained out of the situation before the people finally die.

I've worked oncology, I've done the cancer walks~until I saw how much money was being used to promote the cancer walks~ and I worked hospice. I've seen behind the curtain. The great and powerful cancer machine is driven by greed and greed alone. Who benefits from cancer? Big Pharm, hospitals, universities, insurance companies...well, the list goes on...what it doesn't include are the patients.

 

[digitS']

All the more reason to try to stay out of the grist mill.

Steve