Bulletin Bloopers ~ St Vartan Church bulletin

[valley ranch]

.Coming Up--Theological Open House. We discuss thought-provoking topics. Your opinions are hardly welcome.
.All singles are invited to join us Friday at 7 p.m.for the annual Christmas Sing-alone."
.Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and the community.
.For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
.This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
.Tuesday at 4:00p.m. there will be and ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
.This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an eggon the altar.
.Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward to get a piece of paper.
.The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday.
.A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" --come early and listen to our choir practice.

 

[thistlebloom]

Those are great, made me laugh aloud!

That must have been some church secretary to be so consistently and unconsciously funny.

 

[Collector]

Music will follow lol. That’s a classic

 

[sumi]

 

[majorcatfish]

Subject: The Pastor's Ass



The Pastor entered
his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased
with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won
again.

The local paper
read:
PASTOR'S ASS
OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so
upset with this kind of
publicity that he
ordered the Pastor not to enter
the donkey in
another race.

The next day the
local paper headline read:
BISHOP
SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much
for the Bishop so he
ordered the Pastor to
get rid of the donkey.

The Pastor decided
to give it to a Nun in a
nearby
convent.

The local paper,
hearing of the news, posted
the following headline
the next day:

NUN HAS BEST
ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop
fainted.

He informed the
Nun that she would have to
get rid of the donkey
so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the
paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS
FOR $10.

This was too much
for the Bishop so he
ordered the Nun to buy
back the donkey and
lead it to the plains where it could run
wild.

The next day the
headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES
HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was
buried the next day.

The moral of the
story is... being concerned about public opinion can bring you much
grief and misery... even shorten your life.
So be
yourself and enjoy life.

Stop
worrying about everyone else's ass and
you'll be
a lot happier and live longer!

Have a nice
day!

 

[Just-Moxie]