Erma Bombeck Was Wrong!

[OldGuy43]

Whoops, another obscure reference from many years ago that needs explaining. In 1976 a newspaper columnist named Erma Bombeck wrote a best selling book entitled "The Grass Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank", a humorous look at life in suburbia. Apparently it's still available; http://www.amazon.com/Grass-Always-Greener-Over-Septic/dp/0449207595 . A good read if you are so inclined, by the way.

Well, now that we've gotten rid of the alligators we can get back to draining the swamp. (The original for that amusing little one liner is, "When you're up to your a_s in alligators it's hard to remember that your original intention was to drain the swamp." ) Anyhoo, nothing grows over our septic tank. We have lived here for 15 years+, and it's never been pumped. We always wondered where it was, and a few years ago we found out. It's in the middle of the front yard, and nothing will grow over it for long. Not even weeds. It's just a big bare spot no matter what I do. Extra dirt, fertilizer, grow anywhere grass seed, nothing works. We've been dropping not so subtle hints to the landlord, but so far, no success. Oh well. At least I don't have to mow it, and now we know where the septic tank is. :mow

Sidebar: I know there was a request that I post a list of old timer sayings, but my mind just doesn't work that way. Circumstances have to trigger the memory. I know this to be true because when I read the request I used it as an excuse to get out the lounge chair, sit in the shade with a glass of iced tea and rummage through my memories for old sayings. No matter how many cobwebs I shoved aside or how much dust I brushed away, not a one. Guess you'll just have to be patient.

 

[thistlebloom]

Ha! Yeah, my mom had a bunch of EB paperbacks. I read everything in that bookcase and I remember that one.

Weird that nothing grows over your tank. We know where ours is. It's the first place the snow melts on the lawn.

Maybe your soil gets too warm for plants there?

 

[Southern Gardener]

Yup, my grass is also thick where the septic tank is and where the sprinklers go off.

 

[sparkles2307]

Nothing grows over our tank either. I always just write it off as the soil is too thin there to retain enough moisture. The drain field now, that is an entirely different story!

 

[Ridgerunner]

In the winter, since it warms the ground and we get rain, my grass is greener over the septic tank. Right now, since it is too shallow to hold moisture, the grass is brown over my septic tank. If you want it to be green, you might try watering?

Sidebar:
I'll be going back outside to work n the garden in a few minutes where it is a bit warm and humid. It won't be long before I'm sweating like a pig at hog killing time again.

Oldguy, I understand what you mean about needing something to trigger a memory. Usually my recall is worth about as much as a pinch of snuff in a windstorm.

 

[catjac1975]

YOW! We pump ours every year. Chances are your septic is toast.

Whoops, another obscure reference from many years ago that needs explaining. In 1976 a newspaper columnist named Erma Bombeck wrote a best selling book entitled "The Grass Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank", a humorous look at life in suburbia. Apparently it's still available; http://www.amazon.com/Grass-Always-Greener-Over-Septic/dp/0449207595 . A good read if you are so inclined, by the way.

Well, now that we've gotten rid of the alligators we can get back to draining the swamp. (The original for that amusing little one liner is, "When you're up to your a_s in alligators it's hard to remember that your original intention was to drain the swamp." ) Anyhoo, nothing grows over our septic tank. We have lived here for 15 years+, and it's never been pumped. We always wondered where it was, and a few years ago we found out. It's in the middle of the front yard, and nothing will grow over it for long. Not even weeds. It's just a big bare spot no matter what I do. Extra dirt, fertilizer, grow anywhere grass seed, nothing works. We've been dropping not so subtle hints to the landlord, but so far, no success. Oh well. At least I don't have to mow it, and now we know where the septic tank is. :mow

Sidebar: I know there was a request that I post a list of old timer sayings, but my mind just doesn't work that way. Circumstances have to trigger the memory. I know this to be true because when I read the request I used it as an excuse to get out the lounge chair, sit in the shade with a glass of iced tea and rummage through my memories for old sayings. No matter how many cobwebs I shoved aside or how much dust I brushed away, not a one. Guess you'll just have to be patient.

 

[OldGuy43]

YOW! We pump ours every year. Chances are your septic is toast.

That's what I like about renting; "YOUR septic tank (water heater, fridge, etc.) are toast. I need it fixed.

The funny thing is no smell, no backups, nothing. Just no grass. If it rains or I water it I'll get a little green for a few days and than dirt again.

Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.

Don't know what triggered that memory. row