How To Bathe A Cat

[baymule]

So Lucky posted on BJ's post about medicating goats that it reminded her about bathing a cat. It made the obscure files in the deep dark recesses of my poor, tattered mind bring to the forefront exactly that.

Instructions on HOW TO BATHE A CAT. Or also known as HOW TO RECYCLE A PLASTIC MILK CRATE.

First you need a plastic milk crate. Since a lot of us happen to be cat lovers here, I will be glad to share how to give a cat a bath so you don't get all scratched up. First, liberally apply shampoo or dawn dishwashing liquid to the cat's back(dawn kills fleas). Then drop cat in a clean toilet and quickly slam lid. Flush. Flush again. Don't worry about sounds coming from the toilet cat, he/she is actually enjoying this. Flush repeatedly several more times. Peek carefully through the crack between the toilet bowl and seat to see if all soap suds are gone. If still soapy, continue to flush, peek again. If satisfied, lift lid. ( be sure bathroom door is closed) Then quickly trap cat under the milk crate which confines the cat, making it much easier to blow dry him/her without fear of getting your arm torn off. Your cat should be making lots of deep growly noises, punctuated by shrieks of joy. When the cat's fur begins to smoke, it is dry. You may now open the bathroom door (failure to do so may result in torn wallpaper as he/she makes laps around the room trying desperately to find a way out so he/she can show off his/her clean shiny slightly singed fur). You may now lift the milk crate.

And that folks, is what you can use a milk crate for.

 

[canesisters]

'cause if you don't use the crate..

you have to deal with this

..

 

[897tgigvib]

Easier way:

Call veterinarian
Make appointment for cat bath and grooming
Ensure you have 100 to 200 dollars for the deluxe job
Ensure you have a 40 dollar tip for the veterinarian's assistant who did the job
After, ensure you CO-MISERATE with the vet's assistant about all his or hers new scratches!


(Clevland my mainly Abyssinian son needs a full bath and grooming, possibly even a haircutting trim on his back and sides. He has the full old fashioned Abyssinian guard fur layer on his back and sides. That's the "blue" part of his blue fawn color pattern. That guard fur layer is stiff and dense on him. Clevland is slightly handicapped...don't tell him though...and has a hard time grooming his back and sides.)

Actually, my cat's vet is super good and knows all those VULCAN PARALYSIS HOLDS they have for cats.

Peeper never needs a bath. He is always cleaner than anyone. Ultra fastidious mainly British Shorthair, old fashioned, pre introduction of any persian genes.

 

[bj taylor]

oh bay, your mean streak is showing.

 

[canesisters]

Ensure you have a 40 dollar tip for the veterinarian's assistant who did the job
After, ensure you CO-MISERATE with the vet's assistant about all his or hers new scratches!
Groomed at a kennel for a couple of years..... can't stress this one enough! :happy_flower

Actually, my cat's vet is super good and knows all those VULCAN PARALYSIS HOLDS they have for cats.
There are 5 and they've literally saved my life LOL

 

[MontyJ]

So Lucky posted on BJ's post about medicating goats that it reminded her about bathing a cat. It made the obscure files in the deep dark recesses of my poor, tattered mind bring to the forefront exactly that.

Instructions on HOW TO BATHE A CAT. Or also known as HOW TO RECYCLE A PLASTIC MILK CRATE.

First you need a plastic milk crate. Since a lot of us happen to be cat lovers here, I will be glad to share how to give a cat a bath so you don't get all scratched up. First, liberally apply shampoo or dawn dishwashing liquid to the cat's back(dawn kills fleas). Then drop cat in a clean toilet and quickly slam lid. Flush. Flush again. Don't worry about sounds coming from the toilet cat, he/she is actually enjoying this. Flush repeatedly several more times. Peek carefully through the crack between the toilet bowl and seat to see if all soap suds are gone. If still soapy, continue to flush, peek again. If satisfied, lift lid. ( be sure bathroom door is closed) Then quickly trap cat under the milk crate which confines the cat, making it much easier to blow dry him/her without fear of getting your arm torn off. Your cat should be making lots of deep growly noises, punctuated by shrieks of joy. When the cat's fur begins to smoke, it is dry. You may now open the bathroom door (failure to do so may result in torn wallpaper as he/she makes laps around the room trying desperately to find a way out so he/she can show off his/her clean shiny slightly singed fur). You may now lift the milk crate.

And that folks, is what you can use a milk crate for.

Almost wet myself over that one!! Reminds me of the time my older brother tried to drown a wild, ferrel cat in a rain barrel. I was against it, but thought it would be great fun to watch. It was. The cat got away wet, but unharmed. Can't say the same for my brother who snatched it by the scruff of the neck and shoved it into the barrel.

 

[seedcorn]

So Lucky posted on BJ's post about medicating goats that it reminded her about bathing a cat. It made the obscure files in the deep dark recesses of my poor, tattered mind bring to the forefront exactly that.

Instructions on HOW TO BATHE A CAT. Or also known as HOW TO RECYCLE A PLASTIC MILK CRATE.

First you need a plastic milk crate. Since a lot of us happen to be cat lovers here, I will be glad to share how to give a cat a bath so you don't get all scratched up. First, liberally apply shampoo or dawn dishwashing liquid to the cat's back(dawn kills fleas). Then drop cat in a clean toilet and quickly slam lid. Flush. Flush again. Don't worry about sounds coming from the toilet cat, he/she is actually enjoying this. Flush repeatedly several more times. Peek carefully through the crack between the toilet bowl and seat to see if all soap suds are gone. If still soapy, continue to flush, peek again. If satisfied, lift lid. ( be sure bathroom door is closed) Then quickly trap cat under the milk crate which confines the cat, making it much easier to blow dry him/her without fear of getting your arm torn off. Your cat should be making lots of deep growly noises, punctuated by shrieks of joy. When the cat's fur begins to smoke, it is dry. You may now open the bathroom door (failure to do so may result in torn wallpaper as he/she makes laps around the room trying desperately to find a way out so he/she can show off his/her clean shiny slightly singed fur). You may now lift the milk crate.

And that folks, is what you can use a milk crate for.

Too funny!

 

[JimWWhite]

Burlap bag, 1 brick bat, 1 cat, 1 12-inch length of heavy twine. Load brick bat and cat in that order into bag and tie off with twine. On your way to work as you pass over the Yadkin River bridge you give the bag a fling over the railing. If on the way home you spot the bag retrieve it and return cat, brick, bag and twine home. Cat will be sparkling clean and you can save the other components for the next time cat needs a bath. If you cannot find the bag don't fret... cats are free and you can get another one without even asking.

 

[mrcman]

Bay mule and Jim

Way too funny!!!! I'll make a copy of those and hand it out to some of my cat lovin friends. Great stories.

Tony