I have a friend who stockpiles cans of Spam and has about 800 cans of it because he's convinced that coral will be the downfall of the human race. He said that up until a few years ago coral could only consume tiny microscopic particles, but some can now consume other corals! (At least this is his theory...) So, his theory is that since nothing can absorb Spam jelly, he would cover himself in Spam jelly and be perfectly fine!