I agree with all of the above.
Organic gardening is multi-tiered, with no single answer.
The health of the soil is one thing, as mentioned.
For the strength and overall health and production of plants, I like to foliar feed with kelp.
Floating row covers can be useful at times.
Companion planting is excellent. Some, like sunflowers, attract the pests, such as cucumber beetles and earwigs, then you just pick them off the back of the sunflowers, looking under the folds. Others, confuse bugs. That's why I put some coffee in my carrot seeds. Then there's oil at the ends of corn.
It takes some experience, and lots of study, to learn what does what, and apply it. But once you know, it becomes second nature.
Also, I fully agree that some pest damage is okay. We don't live in a sterile world, thank goodness, and I'm willing to give bites of some leaves to a few bugs. They go their way, I go mine. It's generally when things are out of balance that trouble really starts. It can sometimes take a little while to manage, or restore a natural balance.
I deter, remove, fool and otherwise do my best to have a nice garden, but honestly, unless there's a bad year for friend/foe bugs due to conditions beyond our control, it's really more like maintenence once you have a balanced, healthy soil/garden. Birds, bugs, plants, microrganisms and you all work together in this.
I know that you are working towards a gentler, more relaxed way to garden; don't give up on that.

You're smart, and tough, and tenacious, and will do great; I just know it! :coolsun