Wedding Shower Rant !!

[baymule]

I got an email today from our church about a wedding shower. Great! I love to support the young people in our church, graduating high school, wedding showers, baby showers-to help with getting them started in life with a gift. This is a young lady that was raised here in our church. So I am more than a little peeved that the shower will not be held here at the church at all, but she wants presents!



Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this? Futhermore, today is the 3rd and the email says to make sure to bring gifts to the church by the 6th. Three days to rush out, get a present, wrap it and take it to the church so her doting parents can scoop up the loot and take it all to the shower 70 miles away. Really. The wedding shower that WE are not invited to. Really. The email was not an invitation, just a self-indulgent-you-owe-me-send-presents-and-money. Really.



And the bride is registered at a store that there isn't even one here in our town. The closest one is 48 miles away. So, leave town, drive an hour, fight Christmas crowds, buy the present, fill up car for the drive back home, waste half a day, wrap present and rush it to church to send to the ungrateful bride who will not even grace us with her presence. I don't think so.





I looked at what they registered for. The usual towels and dishes, a doorway chin up bar, lunch box with thermos, doormat, then it gets a little greedy..........Amazon gift cards (3) $25.......(3) $50.........(3) 100... tagged with LOVE TO HAVE!! Yeah, I bet.......



I scrolled further......Wal Mart gift cards.....$$cha-ching!$$$ followed by--are you ready for this??? Taco Bell gift cards!! Gheesh. Then back to Wal Mart gift cards in this blatant dig for money under the auspices of a wedding shower. How crass. Kept scrolling......ending with gift cards from Chili's, Applebees and Subway. Are we supposed to "gift" them with an evening out? I sure would like to have an evening out.........



I am stunned that we are expected to spend our time and money on this girl, but we are not worth her precious time to actually have the shower here, here in the church she was raised in, surrounded by people who watched her grow up. Nope. Just send presents. And don't forget the gift cards.



Selfishness is ugly and should not be rewarded.

 

[Chickie'sMomaInNH]

if i wasn't invited to attend an offsite shower i wouldn't go out of my way to spend a lot of $$ for anything. maybe a happy congratulations card or some of those towels, maybe something they could use in their kitchen. however, i still wouldn't go whole hog on rushing to get something for them.

 

[so lucky]

My ornery side comes out when faced with something like this. Maybe you could just send her an e-congrats-card. I think that's definitely bad manners to request to "just leave the gifts at the church" to be picked up and taken to the party. Probably lots of church people will express their disapproval by doing nothing.

 

[thistlebloom]

I would vote with my wallet, and keep it closed.

Maybe you could send a congratulatory card with a list of charities that the happy couple could donate to when they are married.

 

[MontyJ]

Depending on the circumstances, I could understand not having the shower at the church, but to expect gifts from people that aren't even invited to attend is ridiculous. I've never even heard of a wedding shower. I thought it was a bridal shower. Does the groom plan to attend? It's obviously a money grab. Such a shame. Instead of a shower, perhaps the young couple would benefit more from a bath...in humility.

 

[canesisters]

I may very well be the grouch of all grouches.. but unless I have had a personal relationship with the bride/groom/graduate/parent-to-be/etc, I do not attend showers. I have a very tight budget and can not afford to run out and buy gifts for people I barely know. That being said, I keep my eyes open all the time for things that I think someone might like and give unexpected gifts whenever I find something.
I agree with the others - being asked to send a gift to a party you were not invited to is, at best, rude.

 

[Carol Dee]

I understand this rant! Years ago my husbands friend got married and the only gift request was to send money to their Honeymoon fund! Needless to say it was an out of state wedding and DH was to be Best Man. We attended and I gave them a lovely handmade card and Album to place all those honeymoon photos! I vote for a card if you still want to acknowledge the event and a SMALL gift that you do not have to spend hours and big bucks to find.

 

[Nyboy]

Great thing about being a guy, you don't get invited to showers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[dewdropsinwv]

HOW RUDE!!!!! I would not bother with anything expensive for sure. Maybe a card

 

[ninnymary]

I only attend events that I've been invited too for people that are dear to me. Depending on the event I may bring a gift or if it's a birthday party at a bar for drinks, I may make an appetizer or bring cookies. But again, I only do this for special people. If I don't attend I usually won't send anything.

I agree with everyone, it's rude and shows no manners to ask for gifts only.

Mary