- Thread starter
- #761
baymule
Garden Master
RANT!!!
So I ran over a squirrel a couple days ago. No biggie, right? I mean, other than feeling bad for the squirrel.
Then my car started making this terrible noise at 55-60 MPH. Sounded like the front end was falling out of it! I called the Hyundai dealership and threw myself at the mercy of the service department. I was there at 7:30 this morning so they could squeeze me in, to look at my car.
Junior, the service guy looked at the car. Driving it had shifted the cracked bumper to a full fledged break, maybe 8” long. The plastic covering in the front of the undercarriage was destroyed. New bumper! New plastic thingy! But they don’t have a body shop, bumpers come in unpainted and I would have to take it to a body shop to get it painted.
I became a raving lunatic. A SQUIRREL!! A STUPID SQUIRREL! A FREAKING SQUIRREL CAUSED ALL THIS DAMAGE????? Junior was very polite, we had a good laugh over it. He recommended the body shop next door. Uhhhhh…. NOPE!
So I go to my favorite body shop, used by my son, sister-in-law and her parents when they were alive. Yeah, it’s a family tradition. I showed it to Johnny and told him what Junior said about a new bumper.
Me-I’m not that stupid. I know you can patch that thing up with a fiberglass repair kit and nobody would ever know.
Johnny-Yeah, we can fix that up.
Johnny-Cash or insurance?
Me-depends on the cost.
Meanwhile I’m ranting and raving about the squirrel. I was having a Baymule Temper Tantrum. I could have stomped squirrels to death with my bare feet at that point.
I hit a deer last month in my truck! You know what it did to my truck?? NOTHING!! My truck just laughed at the deer and said, “STOOPID DUMBA$$ DEER! And rolled over it and went on down the road. Yes! THATS how it’s done!
My car? Oh hell no!! It has to sustain major damage over a suicidal Kamakazie FREAKING STUPID SQUIRREL!! A SQUIRREL! What would an armadillo do to it? Total my car??
I’m driving a recycled grocery bag! Ok, a LOT of recycled grocery bags! Gheesh! A roller skate made out of PLASTIC that can’t even run over a DAMNED, FREAKING SQUIRREL!! One measly little SQUIRREL!! 2or3 of the little ba$tards probably would’ve flipped the car and sent it rolling down the road , end over end, hit another SQUIRREL and sent it airborne to the top of a pine tree!
SQUIRRELS! I HATE SQUIRRELS!
Me-How much for a half inch thick steel skid plate? Could you fix me up? I might hit another SQUIRREL and want to be prepared!
Johnny-Laughed and handed me a quote, cash price. For ordering the plastic undercarriage (not even the length of the car, just the little strip up front) and fiberglassing and painting the bumper…..
$647.86
See why I love this place? That’s not even worth turning into the insurance. It won’t go on Carfax, it will never show up as a wrecked car, lowering the value, all because of a STUPID IDIOT SQUIRREL! Hey SQUIRREL! I’m glad you are DEAD! BWA-HA-HA-HA!!
I asked Johnny if he had some duct tape because I had somewhere to go this weekend and didn’t want that awful racket the whole trip. Johnny didn’t want to duct tape it because the glue would stick to the paint, making more work for them. He got zip ties and a drill.
Me-couldn’t we just take that thing off?
Johnny-no. It attaches to the front fenders, without it, the wind from driving it would collapse the fenders.
Me-yeah-bad idea. I like zip ties. I HATE SQUIRRELS!
I take it in Monday, pick it up Tuesday.
Did I mention how much I HATE STUPID SUICIDAL KAMAKAZIE FREAKING SQUIRRELS??
So I ran over a squirrel a couple days ago. No biggie, right? I mean, other than feeling bad for the squirrel.
Then my car started making this terrible noise at 55-60 MPH. Sounded like the front end was falling out of it! I called the Hyundai dealership and threw myself at the mercy of the service department. I was there at 7:30 this morning so they could squeeze me in, to look at my car.
Junior, the service guy looked at the car. Driving it had shifted the cracked bumper to a full fledged break, maybe 8” long. The plastic covering in the front of the undercarriage was destroyed. New bumper! New plastic thingy! But they don’t have a body shop, bumpers come in unpainted and I would have to take it to a body shop to get it painted.
I became a raving lunatic. A SQUIRREL!! A STUPID SQUIRREL! A FREAKING SQUIRREL CAUSED ALL THIS DAMAGE????? Junior was very polite, we had a good laugh over it. He recommended the body shop next door. Uhhhhh…. NOPE!
So I go to my favorite body shop, used by my son, sister-in-law and her parents when they were alive. Yeah, it’s a family tradition. I showed it to Johnny and told him what Junior said about a new bumper.
Me-I’m not that stupid. I know you can patch that thing up with a fiberglass repair kit and nobody would ever know.
Johnny-Yeah, we can fix that up.
Johnny-Cash or insurance?
Me-depends on the cost.
Meanwhile I’m ranting and raving about the squirrel. I was having a Baymule Temper Tantrum. I could have stomped squirrels to death with my bare feet at that point.
I hit a deer last month in my truck! You know what it did to my truck?? NOTHING!! My truck just laughed at the deer and said, “STOOPID DUMBA$$ DEER! And rolled over it and went on down the road. Yes! THATS how it’s done!
My car? Oh hell no!! It has to sustain major damage over a suicidal Kamakazie FREAKING STUPID SQUIRREL!! A SQUIRREL! What would an armadillo do to it? Total my car??
I’m driving a recycled grocery bag! Ok, a LOT of recycled grocery bags! Gheesh! A roller skate made out of PLASTIC that can’t even run over a DAMNED, FREAKING SQUIRREL!! One measly little SQUIRREL!! 2or3 of the little ba$tards probably would’ve flipped the car and sent it rolling down the road , end over end, hit another SQUIRREL and sent it airborne to the top of a pine tree!
SQUIRRELS! I HATE SQUIRRELS!
Me-How much for a half inch thick steel skid plate? Could you fix me up? I might hit another SQUIRREL and want to be prepared!
Johnny-Laughed and handed me a quote, cash price. For ordering the plastic undercarriage (not even the length of the car, just the little strip up front) and fiberglassing and painting the bumper…..
$647.86
See why I love this place? That’s not even worth turning into the insurance. It won’t go on Carfax, it will never show up as a wrecked car, lowering the value, all because of a STUPID IDIOT SQUIRREL! Hey SQUIRREL! I’m glad you are DEAD! BWA-HA-HA-HA!!
I asked Johnny if he had some duct tape because I had somewhere to go this weekend and didn’t want that awful racket the whole trip. Johnny didn’t want to duct tape it because the glue would stick to the paint, making more work for them. He got zip ties and a drill.
Me-couldn’t we just take that thing off?
Johnny-no. It attaches to the front fenders, without it, the wind from driving it would collapse the fenders.
Me-yeah-bad idea. I like zip ties. I HATE SQUIRRELS!
I take it in Monday, pick it up Tuesday.
Did I mention how much I HATE STUPID SUICIDAL KAMAKAZIE FREAKING SQUIRRELS??
