Don't laugh... I grew these myself!

[Pulsegleaner]

Not quite city. I'm suburban, but it is pretty urban suburban. Oh and I'm 6b.

You are right that there is little room, still less if you factor in the fact most veggies need full sun, which there is virtually NONE of on the property because of the trees (and we live somewhere where it is not permitted to take down trees for ANY reason without village approval, which is hard and slow to get. That also removes any chance of a frame or greenhouse; there is no where to put one

Those trees also make the soil an issue, since the fact that most are hemlock and oak means our humus is so acidic you could run a battery on it. There is a grand total of 10'x10' of actual ground that gets some degree of sun (the house and patios get some sun as well, and they get used HARD but everything there has to go in pots) and that 100 square feet needs 4-5 whole bags of lime a YEAR to be neutral enough to grow anything but acid loving weeds. Worse, now that the hemlocks are dying off, they are being replaced by black walnuts, so the soil in some spots is LOADED with jugulone.

The real critical issue is my seasons. It isn't a matter of them being unduly harsh as being dramatically inconsistent; inconsistent enough that I literally do not have a clue what the year is going to bring, and things swing wildly enough from year to year that that which works OK for me this year probably will NOT work the next year. Add on that, when the seasons change they tend not to do it in a reasonable gradient but to bounce up and down between extremes for most of the time (so in order to survive, plants have to be pretty tough since two or three weeks of 90 followed by a full freeze is pretty common now as is that kind of stuff going on for months on end (it's a week from July and we are JUST beginning to get consistent "spring" weather, which will probably go bye-bye by Mid August.

As for whether what I grow is really exotic or just unsuited, bit of both. I'll TRY almost anything so a lot of what goes in is actually probably tropical. Going down your lists, Lettuce-no I don't grow that, or indeed any leaf (or, for that matter root) crops. The soil is too rocky to get good results with those. I do sometimes plant carrots, but that isn't so much for roots as to give the swallowtail caterpillars something to eat (I prefer to use dill or fennel for that, but when I get freebie carrot seeds as part of a seed order I see no reason not to make use of them.

I DO grow tomatoes and beans, but only in pots, they don't do well in the soil here (and in the case of the beans, putting them anywhere but in a pot on a pedestal on the patio basically guarantees the squirrels and chipmunks eating every last one of them. I usually go for cherry or smaller tomatoes for preference since a lot of the big fruited ones really don't like life in a little pot, and tend to go into quick ditch mode for me (make 1 small fruit and then drop dead)

Mostly, my spece is filled with "alternate legumes" I grow some rice beans or adzuki beans most years (this year, I have both) since I can toss those out in numbers greater than the critters can eat them. I have some Lablab (hyacinth) beans in a big pot this year; though based on last year it is quite likey they will all prove too long season to make mature seed in he time I have.

This year I also have some peas, both "real" (i.e. pisum) and Southern (i.e. cow). But I usually don't do real peas since we really don't have the condtions for them. We tend to go from "too cold to sprout" to "too hot for peas" fairly quickly. I can sometimes get around that by using a special mix of my own called "Triple P" which consists of peas that still have the genes of the truly tiny peas of ancient times and the wild. The pods are no longer than my thumbnail, but those tiny plants tend to also have tiny grow times (30-45 days from seed to seed) so they can squeeze in (cont.)

 

[Pulsegleaner]

There's also one feverole plant that made it through the critter onslaught.

The cowpeas are sort of hit and miss. the grow well as PLANTS, but a lot of them are too long season to flower here. So out of the piles of cowpeas that go in usually only 3-4 actually make seed. My best producer is a skinny one I picked out of a bag at some point, with small clay seeds with brown mottling.
Cucurbit wise, I usually don't grow anything except cucumbers, since they are all that works well (and to be honest, the only thing anyone in the family really likes enough to justify the space) This year however I've got some gourds from some old seed I found so they have the cukes place.

Corn is complicated. I CAN grow corn climatically, and in fact that's what the 10x10 spot is usually used for. But the last 6-7 years, I have gotten no corn, as the squirrels and chipmunks and voles have systematically eaten it all as soon as it comes up.

I grow wheat, barley and oats in pots on the patio (since, unlike corn, they are small enough plants you CAN grow them in a pot. They produce very well, but there is only a tiny amount of grain you can fit in a pot, so what I DO get goes to the mantel, not the mill (i.e. I put it in vases and use it for decoration)

Alliums grow well here(comparatively) so I have a lot of those. Besides the garlic, I have rakkyo, moly, rosy garlic, Naples garlic and twinleaf onion in this year, and I'm adding a whole bunch of other small wild alliums (allia?) next year, mostly of Caucasian or South African origin.

Oh and there is a Peach tree in a big pot on the patio that makes some small peaches (when the animals don't get to them). Probably a Hiawatha (it has purple leaves) I lost my white alpine strawberries last year(the winter was Unusually brutal) so in replacement I am working on starting some edible pitted apricots from seed.

Add on some herbs and the unknown experiments and that really everything.

 

[Kassaundra]

I would never laugh at anyone's potato harvest, I seldom get more then I use for starts. This year mine looked just like yours for size, no big ones in it, and I got maybe double what I used for starts, maybe!

 

[sumi]

Oh, those baby potatoes are so delicious! Hey, you tried and got something for your effort, which is more than I can say of my last bean crop. You would have laughed if I showed you what I got! Ditto the corn, here a kernel, theeeere a kernel, ugh. Vegetable gardening's a hit and miss affair and mine were more miss than hit last time round.

 

[so lucky]

My onion crop was pretty puny this year. The tops died off earlier than I expected, and it rained so much the crabgrass took over. So I pulled/pried the onions out of the ground yesterday. Win some, lose some.
@Pulsegleaner, You may not be asking for advice, but here's some anyway: Stop trying to grow so many different things. Concentrate on the few that mean the most to you, and dedicate your sparse land to those veggies. You've named more kinds and varieties than most folks with acres of gardens try to grow.
Amend the soil in your garden area, or get some big containers to put in your 10x10 area. That would take care of the problem acidic soil, and the critters at the same time. "Greens" are the vegetables that do better in a little shade in the hot summer, and may do well in your yard. Do you just not like to eat them? (Kinda like me and radishes!) Consider adding a windbreaking screen to your patio, if needed. Bay's suggestion of using windows to create a temporary greenhouse (when needed) is a good one.

At some time in the future, you may be given the opportunity to garden on someone else's property, as digitS' does, and have all the room you need. Right now you need to stack the deck in your favor and get some successes under your belt.

 

[rebbetzin]

@Pulsegleaner Gosh, maybe if we put our two native soils together, we might be able to grow something... Native soil here is so alkaline it literally fizzes when you put vinegar on it! I do raised beds or pots and use Miracle Grow Moisture Control Potting Soil. I LOVE that stuff!! I add it to my garden every time I put in a new plant.

 

[Pulsegleaner]

And here is my response.

Cutting down the number of things doesn't work; I tried that most years. All that happens is that you go from a wide array of critters each of whom comes in, eats a little and moves on when it is no longer worth it's while to a smaller group who love that particular crop and, faced with a now rich patch, settle in for good and eat ALL of it. At least diversity tends to keep them on thier toes and means SOME stuff can slip by.
And if I did cut my crops down to what "means the most to me", there wouldn't BE any veggies, at least no conventional ones. It would ALL go to the experimental stuff, four fiths of which is actually weeds (for a given value of weeds). It's the flip side of that "maybe I'd do better if I passed everyth one mentality. With any veggie I get from a catalog, no matter how unusual, I know there are many other people who have or can get it, so my mistakes do not put the actualy variety at risk. But for a lot of the stuff I find as I seed hunt, I know there is basically NO ONE but me out there who is caring about it and I I stop caring about it too, that's it by bye strain. That is a weighty thought, and a sacred duty.

I do amend the soil every year (that was the 5-6 bags of lime comment, and that is hardly the only thing that gets added each year. ) The issue is that the soil is SO bad (not just acidic but mostly rocks on top of that) that "amending it" in the way it really needs to be amended would be along the lines of "dig the whole area out to a depth of 10 or so feet and fill the whole pit in with new pruchased soil" and that would frankly cost so much I'd never make it back on what I could get out in veggies, especially beacuse the amount of acidification the trees here make means I'd have to re-do the whole dig out and replace every other year or so (that's about all it takes for the pots, which ARE full of good soil, to become "poisoned" by the tree litter (even factoring in my pulling as much of it off before it can rot as I can).
And even if I did do that, or put pots down, the only critters it would take care of would be the voles, maybe. Everything else has no trouble climbing up the side of a pot and munching the insides. THAT's why I put what I can on the patio pedestals, that's the one thing chipmunks CAN'T CLIMB, or at least, can't climb well enough to make more than a minor dent. If I was to even take a pot off a pedestal and put it on the slate ground of the patio (which I have had to do sometimes, as there are only seven pedestals to use, that's usually it, the pot will be chewed to the ground overnight.

Same issue with screeing in the patios doing that is less a quick trip to the hardware store and more "total home renovation" Plus the back patio is so shaky as is that doing any heavy modification would probably cause the whole thing to collapse (the brickwork is disintegrating and the rails are almost rusted through.) And Those kind of things aren't really my decision anyway. It's my parents house, not mine and I can only suggest modifications. Plus getting zoning to do any sort of work around here is almost impossible, the village counsel is both lazy and really doesn't like old houses like ours (they prefer them to crumble, so they can condem, evict and sell the land to developers who build McMansions which give them more tax dollars [or in our case, because of where the old houses are located, simply bulldoze everything and then offer the land to the Assisted living/hospital complex on the other side of the fencing to let them make a second entrance to their property.).
In short, what I am trying to get at is that trying to cut down to what does best for me would (and this is what has actually been told to me by literally every gardener, lawn service, and tree commision member who has ever been here) would be to cut it down to NOTHING, to let the veggie gardens become parts of the lawn and leave the flower gardens in the hands of professional gardening services who could put in short term big box material to make this house look just like every other one.....to make it look "right". And I will not put up with that.
And yes you are right, mostly I'm biding my time until the opportunity comes along to be able to put my seed on the land of someone who has the space and resources I need to really make it work or am in a postion to move somewhere where I do. Till then it's hang on as best as I can.

 

[Pulsegleaner]

Oh an with regards to the greens thing. The simple answer Is that 1. there are only some greens that I like and 2. basically NO greens do well in out soil. Way back when when my parents got the house they would put in things like lettuce and other greens. However invariably of the maybe 1 in 10 that actually got so far as to germinate, they would basically make nothing. Not only would not lettuce head, they couldn't even make any sort of rosette. All the lettuce the garden could make basically at best amounted to a quarter portion of salad for one person. Same with cabbage, the amount of cabbage we would get out was not worth the amount of effort to put in. we tried "flavor" greens for a while (things like mustard greens and arugula) which are really more of seasoning than salad bulk, but even there it was "10 leaves total for the whole years crop territory" It's the same with radishes and carrots; it isn't that they won't grow, it that the rockiness of the soil means they develop not roots. We'd get copious foliage, and actual carrots that were so small as to be unpeelable. Ditto radishes. Fennel will make sparse leaves, but no bulb (even if its bulbing fennel) Potatoes produce no tubers, ever (what few potatoes we do get actually come from tubers planted directly in the mulch pile) The last thing that grew there decently was some clover we threw in the year we decided to not bother doing anything. I think that next year, I'm sowing the whole space with vetches and HOPE that the critters won't eat THEM as well.

 

[britesea]

Have you tried actually CAGING your plants? I have done that. I built a raised bed out of 2x10 lumber and stapled 1/2" mesh hardware cloth to the bottom, to keep the burrowers out. Then I filled the bed with good potting soil. I built a frame over the top with more stapled-on hardware cloth and hinged it so I could access the plants. This was the only way I was able to grow artichokes in my San Jose, CA garden-- it might work for you as well. Even if you can afford only 1 raised bed, I think having a spot where veggies grow for you would give you a "shot in the arm", because you sound so discouraged my heart is going out to you.

I was having problems with squirrels munching on my brassicas this year until I mixed up a squirrel repellant spray that was almost magical: 1 tsp Dawn dishwashing liquid, 1 5-oz bottle of Tabasco, and a gallon of water. I mixed it up and used a spray mister to wet down the leaves and no more squirrel damage! I don't know if it would work on voles and chipmunks, but it might?

 

[Pulsegleaner]

Yes, I tried it. Didn't work. The voles did less damage but that was about it. The chipmunks and squirrels simply climbed up and over unless I made the cages completely enclosed at the top, and making 100+ cages each of whom has to be a minimum of 12 feet tall is no small matter. I'm trying to save corn remember, so the cages have to be big enough to accomidate a corn plant to it's full height, which is hard when a certain potion of the material you are working with is Andean you are trying to breed in (andean corns tend to be super tall when the codtions are right) and 2. I need a very large number of plants to keep going (the 100 I shoot for each year is actually an extreme lowball; most people reccomend a minimum population of at least 200 plants if your saving seed and don't want inbreeding depression to destroy it).
I tend to think the mixture wont work. I literally marinated my seeds in pure chili oil before I sowed them soaked the soil in more, and sprayed the seedlinbgs with it until they were practically red and water replellent. None of it stopped the animals from chowing down. If anything it made them eat more ravenously (maybe they like spicy food g>)
There is also the fact that I am beginning to realize that it is likey that the fact they can totally destroy the major veggie garden is likey the only reason the stump and the non pedestal patio pots are NOT destroyed totally, only mostly. I suspect that every small gain I make with that garden will translate out to a large loss on the others. And the stuff in the stump and pots is more important, gentics wise.

Oh and update, now that I have harvested this years garlic and other alliums. It's a bit better than I feared though still not great news. about half of the plants did make some head though in a lot of cases the head was too small and immature to be savable (I was going on some advice about when to harverst that led me to pull quite a few plants far sooner than I probably should have [actually given that I grow the stuff in a pot, I probably should have simpley left everthing in the pot and prepared to haul the whole pot into and out of my garage every year for a decade or so.) Four of the domestic garlics seem to have made decent healthy (if tiny) rounds of a kind that is keepable for next year (so that gives me a safty net of about thirteen or fourteen). Most of the rest came out with a lot of splits and mold. Normally this is no big deal, I simply peel the head down until the mold is gone, and then leave it to cure normally. But this time, the cracks and damage were so deep that by the time I was down to the clean, I was down to the bare round itself. This actually doesn't effect germination much (a peeled clove will grow just fine) but I does mean I'll have to treat them with kid gloves to keep them from getting bruised over the winter, since they have no skins to protect them and a bruise or laceration can easily lead to rot.
The rakkyo is also sort of mixed. My actual number of bulbs increased nicely from six to about sixteen. However the plants once again went into their habit of beginning division more or less as soon as they woke up in the spring so while the number of bulbs increased by a factor of 2 2/3 x the actually total mass of edible blub material actually decresed by about 2/3.
The rosy garlic (Allium Rosaceum) did best, it grew more or less perfectly. Of course, it's also tiny, so the space I'll need to actually grow enough to be able to eat a decent amount is probably more than I have.