Garden humor thread..

Carol Dee

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If it is o.k. I will try to explain. In the story Queen Elsa freezes everything she touches. Many people find the elf annoying.... so this could be pretty funny!
 

journey11

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You're supposed to pretend the elf, who has come down from the north pole to report your behavior to Santa, has a life of his own. Each day, you put him in a different place. Some people get very creative with his antics (as this person has done.) I've never had one for my kids, but it has been the fad for a couple of years now. DD8 doesn't believe anymore, but maybe DD3 would get a kick out of it.
 

canesisters

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hahaha
That little tattle-tale elf showing up all over the place creeps me out.
The other toys don't like him either.
Elf-Attacked-by-Toys.jpg
 

baymule

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Dr Geezer's Clinic

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.

He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr.Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."
Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr.Geezer's clinic.
Dr. Young: "Dr.Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me ?? "
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr. Young: "Aaagh !! This is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't, -- that is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."
Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!!!!
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, "Here's your $1000 back." (giving him a $10 bill)
Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! ; That will be $500."
Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer."
Remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick us off.
Dr. Geezer's Clinic - ENJOY YOUR DAY ! ! !
 

baymule

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Tonight was a Close One !!

With the Holidays close upon us, I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving. As you know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time, often on the way home after a "social session" with family or friends.

Well, two days ago, this happened to me. I was out for an evening with friends and had more than several whiskies followed by a couple of bottles of rather nice red wine. Although relaxed, I still had the common sense to know I was slightly over the limit. That's when I did something I've never done before

I took a taxi home! Sure enough on the way there was a police roadblock, but since it was a taxi they waved it past and I arrived home safely without incident. This was a real surprise to me, because I had never driven a taxi before.

I don't know where I got it, and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it..

So, anyway, if you want to borrow it give me a call...Happy Holidays and be safe out there.
 

digitS'

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That is just terrible, @baymule !!

I could hardly believe what I was reading ... slowly came to accept the calm admissions ... then, the critical confession was completely incongruous!

If you hadn't offered the fraudulent service, I wouldn't have believed it! Now, I'm convinced!! Take this woman away, officer!!!

Steve
 

Beekissed

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Elsa is a bad tempered little brat who takes out her anger on all and sundry by freezing them when they make her mad and the Elf on the shelf is an annoying thing altogether, so put the two together and you get a frozen elf....mildly amusing if you think about it. ;)
 
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