Garden humor thread..
- Thread starter desertlady
- Start date
digitS'
Garden Master
(Wow! Have you tried the search on the new forum yet?)
Old Post (link)
We will be gift-wrapping Seedcorn and sending him off to .
. . where was that childhood home, Seedcorn ? .
. . ah yes, on the border of Tennessee and Alabama. Buttermilk, okra and blackeyed peas. Home, sweet, home. (I wonder if there's any room for me down there . . !?)
Steve
Old Post (link)
We will be gift-wrapping Seedcorn and sending him off to .
. . where was that childhood home, Seedcorn ? .
. . ah yes, on the border of Tennessee and Alabama. Buttermilk, okra and blackeyed peas. Home, sweet, home. (I wonder if there's any room for me down there . . !?)
Steve
Carol Dee
Garden Master
On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife in
Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the
announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You
must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the
Snow ploughs can get through. "So the good wife went out and moved her
car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the
radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the
snow ploughs can get through. "The good wife went out and moved her car
again.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the
radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today.
You must park...." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was
very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't
know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the
snow ploughs can get through?"
Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all
men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied,
"Why don't you just leave the bloody car in the garage this
time."
I didn't see it coming either.
Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the
announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You
must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the
Snow ploughs can get through. "So the good wife went out and moved her
car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the
radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the
snow ploughs can get through. "The good wife went out and moved her car
again.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the
radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today.
You must park...." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was
very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't
know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the
snow ploughs can get through?"
Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all
men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied,
"Why don't you just leave the bloody car in the garage this
time."
I didn't see it coming either.
baymule
Garden Master
That's cute.
baymule
Garden Master
GRUMPY OLD MAN
An old man and woman were married for many years.
Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be
heard deep into the night. The old man would shout,
"When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave
and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared him, and the old man liked the fact that he was feared.
To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.
His wife had a closed casket at the funeral. And, after the burial,
her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked,
"Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out
of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down.
And I know he won't ask for directions."
An old man and woman were married for many years.
Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be
heard deep into the night. The old man would shout,
"When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave
and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared him, and the old man liked the fact that he was feared.
To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.
His wife had a closed casket at the funeral. And, after the burial,
her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked,
"Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out
of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down.
And I know he won't ask for directions."
baymule
Garden Master
Rednecks have the lowest stress rate because they don't understand
the seriousness of most medical terminology
Medical Term
Redneck Definition
Artery
-
The study of paintings
Bacteria
-
Back door to cafeteria
Barium
-
What doctors do when patients die
Benign
-
What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section
-
A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan
-
Searching for Kitty
Cauterize
-
Made eye contact with her
Colic
-
A sheep dog
Coma
-
A punctuation mark
Dilate
-
To live long
Enema
-
Not a friend
Fester
-
Quicker than someone else
Fibula
-
A small lie
Impotent
-
Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain
-
Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff
-
A Doctor's cane
Morbid
-
A higher offer
Nitrates
-
Rates of Pay for Working at Night,
Normally more money than Days
Node
-
I knew it
Outpatient
-
A person who has fainted
Pelvis
-
Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative
-
A letter carrier
Recovery Room
-
Place to do upholstery
Rectum
-
Nearly killed him
Secretion
-
Hiding something
Seizure
-
Roman Emperor
Tablet
-
A small table
Terminal Illness
-
Getting sick at the airport
Tumor
-
One plus one more
Urine
-
Opposite of you're out
the seriousness of most medical terminology
Medical Term
Redneck Definition
Artery
-
The study of paintings
Bacteria
-
Back door to cafeteria
Barium
-
What doctors do when patients die
Benign
-
What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section
-
A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan
-
Searching for Kitty
Cauterize
-
Made eye contact with her
Colic
-
A sheep dog
Coma
-
A punctuation mark
Dilate
-
To live long
Enema
-
Not a friend
Fester
-
Quicker than someone else
Fibula
-
A small lie
Impotent
-
Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain
-
Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff
-
A Doctor's cane
Morbid
-
A higher offer
Nitrates
-
Rates of Pay for Working at Night,
Normally more money than Days
Node
-
I knew it
Outpatient
-
A person who has fainted
Pelvis
-
Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative
-
A letter carrier
Recovery Room
-
Place to do upholstery
Rectum
-
Nearly killed him
Secretion
-
Hiding something
Seizure
-
Roman Emperor
Tablet
-
A small table
Terminal Illness
-
Getting sick at the airport
Tumor
-
One plus one more
Urine
-
Opposite of you're out
baymule
Garden Master
Well, when I copied and pasted, it came out OK. But when I clicked on post, the format got a little jumbled. 
Maybe ya'll can figger it out.
Maybe ya'll can figger it out.
TheSeedObsesser
Deeply Rooted
