Garden humor thread..

[digitS']

Okay, to make amends (something I posted 9 years ago in its own thread):

My Wife, the Gardener

She dug the plot on Monday, the soil was rich and fine.
She forgot to thaw out dinner so we went out to dine.

She planted roses Tuesday. She says they are a must.
They really are quite lovely, but she forgot to dust.

On Wednesday it was daisies, they opened with the sun.
All whites and pinks and yellows, but the laundry wasn't done!

The poppies came on Thursday, a bright and cheery red.
I guess she really was engrossed; she never made the bed.

It was dahlias on Friday in colors she adores.
It never bothered her at all, those crumbs upon the floors.

I hired a maid on Saturday; my week was now complete.
My wife can garden all she wants; the house will still be neat.

It's nearly lunchtime Sunday and I can't find the maid.
Oh no! I don't believe it! She's out there with a spade.

from the New Zealand Rose Annual

 

[majorcatfish]

 

[Nyboy]

 

[Carol Dee]

 

[Carol Dee]

 

[Nyboy]

What makes me jump out of bed in middle of night is when I think i hear the front door open

 

[canesisters]

Why is it that I NEVER think to check the dogs first when I'm awakened in the middle of the night by some sound - or imagined sound???? By the time I've nearly had a heart attack and roamed the dark house looking for the source of the noise it eventyally dawns on me that NOT ONE of the dogs or cats that ALWYAS alert to odd sounds even woke up.....

 

[Nyboy]

Cane I feel like we are twins. After the panic checking of front door I notice dogs still sleeping.

 

[majorcatfish]

my girls can be sawing logs along with me, they wake up if you put your hand on the storm door.... dd has come home late a few times and they go off

 

[Ridgerunner]

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.