Garden humor thread..

[Ridgerunner]

Why is it stairway to heaven, but highway to hell?

Because a highway can accommodate more people.

 

[Ridgerunner]

A guy is lost in the desert. He sees someone in the distance, so he staggers up to him and pleads, ''Water! Water!''

The other guy says, ''I don't have any water. I'm a tie salesman. Do you want to buy a tie?''

The first guy just repeats, ''Water! Water!''

So the tie salesman says, ''About an hour that way, over that dune, there's a restaurant that has water.''

The first man staggers off in that direction. About four hours later, he returns, crawling on his hands and knees. He's sunburned and near death, crying, ''Water! Water!''

The tie salesman says, ''I thought you went to the restaurant. You didn't get any water there?''

And the thirsty guy says, ''They wouldn't let me in without a tie.''

 

[Ridgerunner]

Husband to wife - Happy Birthday! Here is a sweater for you to return.

 

[majorcatfish]

 

[majorcatfish]

 

[majorcatfish]

 

[majorcatfish]

 

[majorcatfish]

 

[majorcatfish]

 

[digitS']

Dorm Room Phone Rings

Hello
Hey Bruh ... how's your dorm? Is it sick?
Yeah. It's okay.
Any of your roommates cray?
No.
Yo. You can keep it one hundred with me.
I am.
Heard you went to a party. Was it lit?
It was fine.
D'you get pretty turnt. That'd be dope.
It's embarrassing when you call and read from a list of slang you just found on the internet, Dad.
...
Stop throwing shade, Bruh.
I'm gonna go now, Dad.