Garden humor thread..

[Ridgerunner]

I'm looking forward to school but I'm not ready for all the rules. Single file lines, indoor voices, no running on the blacktop, one lunch per day, no hiding sardines in the ventilation.

 

[Marie2020]

Remember running through the fields of green grass ~ and remember when you'd step in a pie, break through the crust ~ remember how it would squish up between your toes ~ remember ~ I hated that ```

We got too the camping site and as we finished setting up the tent it was pitch dark. It was so good to be out in the countryside with our little camp fire to brew our tea, the ground felt soft even if a little damp.
As I crawled into my sleeping bag I fell asleep in an instant, it was sheer bliss. On waking it was not so pleasant my rear end was covered & my hands nails was smothered in the cow pat I'd been sitting in so blissfully unaware for hours

 

[Dirtmechanic]

I'm looking forward to school but I'm not ready for all the rules. Single file lines, indoor voices, no running on the blacktop, one lunch per day, no hiding sardines in the ventilation.

Speaking of school, I heard the Past, Present and Future walked into a bar.





It was a tense situation.

 

[Zeedman]

We got too the camping site and as we finished setting up the tent it was pitch dark. It was so good to be out in the countryside with our little camp fire to brew our tea, the ground felt soft even if a little damp.
As I crawled into my sleeping bag I fell asleep in an instant, it was sheer bliss. On waking it was not so pleasant my rear end was covered & my hands nails was smothered in the cow pat I'd been sitting in so blissfully unaware for hours

And you wondered why your companion was snickering...

 

[valley ranch]

as a child i had a few nightmares that i've always remembered since.

one was that there were alligators under my bed one night.

the other i was fighting the skeletons in Jason and the Argonauts.

as an adult i'm glad i don't have many nightmares, but this evening the storms rolled through and woke me up and then i had one which woke me up again.

Oldest daughter had an alligator friend when she was very young ~ no one else could see it, it use to run along sid the car even, no one else could see it ~ when her sister was born, it went away ```

 

[so lucky]

Things hiding under the bed....When I was nine, I was in a bad car wreck that got me hospitalized for a week or so. After that hospital stay, at home I was convinced there was something hiding under my bed. I couldn't go to sleep until I checked under the bed, and often in the closet, as well. I didn't get over the bed phobia until well in my 20s. I guess by then there were scarier things going on in my life than a monster under the bed.

 

[Dirtmechanic]

Things hiding under the bed....When I was nine, I was in a bad car wreck that got me hospitalized for a week or so. After that hospital stay, at home I was convinced there was something hiding under my bed. I couldn't go to sleep until I checked under the bed, and often in the closet, as well. I didn't get over the bed phobia until well in my 20s. I guess by then there were scarier things going on in my life than a monster under the bed.

I read a similiar story on the web. Doctors were involved with the night terrors for a wee child. Medicines, politely put, were no effective. A local redneck suggested sawing the legs off the bed so there was no underneath to consider, and it cleared things up for the child.

 

[Pulsegleaner]

I just keep remembering the story I read once about a father who decided that the best way to cure his son of his fear of a monster in the basement was to tie him to a chair, put the chair in the basement, turn out all the lights and then lock the door.

 

[Marie2020]

I just keep remembering the story I read once about a father who decided that the best way to cure his son of his fear of a monster in the basement was to tie him to a chair, put the chair in the basement, turn out all the lights and then lock the door.

I hope someone did exactly the same to that demented father. He could have done with the experience as a life lesson

 

[flowerbug]

i didn't have any trouble with the dark, but i surely would not want to be tied up.