Grooming a BHD (Big Hairy Dog, aka: GP, Husky, Mal, etc.)
1. As dog is lead in to be groomed, lean back slightly as if a tsunami is about to hit you. A small squeak of surprise and horror is acceptable.
2. Find out you are the one grooming the dog, and with a grumpy sigh, trundle it to the grooming area.
3. Apply surgeon's mask and safety glasses. (I'm currently shopping for a welder's mask.)
4. Turn High Velocity Dryer on and turn the entire grooming area into a snow storm of hair. Blow all the coat out of the dog at once in a shocking and spectacular display of hair.
5. Remove glasses and facemask, use blow dryer on self to remove hair making you look like abominable snow man.
6. Bathe dog, using super fantastic deshedding shampoo and conditioner.
7. Dry again, issuing another snow storm.
8. Brush dog for 45 minutes to 1 hour, stripping the last of the hair off. Trim the nails, clean the ears, shave the paw pads, spray with perfume, and tie bandana on.
9. Get call back next day complaining the dog is still shedding.
10. Smack head and swear you will never groom another BHD... (till the next one anyway.)