Grr...some people.

[AMKuska]

Sorry I need to vent here

For the first time ever, Mr. Helpful came home from daycare hating it and not wanting to go back. It turns out some mother packed their child a 'special lunch' which included mass amounts of candy. Mr. Helpful has grown up learning that if you get something good you share it. Always. So...he asked for some. Greedy little kid said no and spent the whole day popping candies in front of my son's face.

I'm not sure why daycare lady thought this was okay to do, but Mr. Helpful and I had to have a talk about how some people are greedy, and what to do about it. We agreed to get some candy for ourselves, and to buy a bag to share, so hopefully greedy kid will learn something. Mr. Helpful is happy(er) and...well...

I'm ashamed of myself. Because I just spent 45 minutes putting together the mother of all lunches for my son. A panda shaped sandwich, little panda riceballs, fully decorated, and a boat load of skittles and goldfish. He almost never gets candy. I'm making an exception. And Mr. Helpful can eat it all with a clear conscious, because he brought something to share like a decent human being too.

I know he won't, because he is a good, pure person and I somehow taught him better, but I hope he rubs it in the little turds face.

 

[dickiebird]

I have so many things I want to say here, but I can't!!!!!

THANX RICH

 

[ninnymary]

I'm sorry that you and your son had to go through that. I would have handled the situation differently. That's all I'm going to say.

Mary

 

[so lucky]

Mr Helpful is going to have a lot of life lessons to learn, and "life is not fair" is just one of the first kids need to learn.
It is important to get them off on a positive trend when they start day care, or kindergarten, or college. If he felt better about going back today, then you achieved your goal.
Hopefully he will learn he can't take candy every day, and that those who have candy or money are not legally obligated to give it to those who don't have any. Morally obligated--that's a different story.
And hopefully the day care teacher will be vigilant, and perhaps ban candy entirely.

 

[Ridgerunner]

Life is not fair. Some people are born with great athletic ability. They are faster, quicker, or stronger than most anybody else around. That gives them huge unfair advantages.


Some people are born rich. The way a lot of these turn out, I’m not sure it is always a long term unfair advantage, especially when they have to stand on their own feet, but many perceive being born rich to be. If I had a choice I’d choose being born rich.


Some people, like me, are born good looking. I’m told that gives some people an unfair advantage in certain endeavors. Not that I’d know for sure.


There are those that are born with certain unfair advantages but do nothing to enhance them. Others however work hard to enhance those advantages. Michael Jordon comes to mind. He was born with tremendous physical and mental advantages but he spent hours each day learning his craft and getting better. Others were born with similar advantages but did not develop them. When they went up against Michael Jordon on the basketball court they were at a tremendous unfair advantage.


I even knew a kid that had three unfair advantages. Not only did he study for tests and do his homework, he paid attention in class. Talk about some huge unfair advantages. Come to think of it, he was also polite to his teacher. A teacher’s pet!!! Four, count them! Four unfair advantages.


Some unfair advantages may be an accident of birth, but some you have some control of. But never think life is really fair. It is not even close.

 

[Lavender2]

Sometimes it's hard to deal with the little situations at daycare, especially when you appreciate the rest of the care your daycare provides. You know your comfort with your relationship, but as a provider I appreciated knowing when a child was overly upset about something.

That 'mom' would not have appreciated my rules, but I did my best to try to prepare the kids, and the parents, for school. 'Healthy' snacks could be brought to share. Candy was for special parties and holidays. I stuck to my guns as a provider, and a parent. Maybe my kids didn't like it when they were kids, but they certainly understand it now.

Then again... “We (parents) are always bluffing, pretending we know best, when most of the time we're just praying we won't screw up too badly.” Jodi Picoult

 

[majorcatfish]

was brought up to share and always have and always will.........
but in reality that moral has lost it's meaning in the upbring of the "e" generation children over the last couple decades. for those parents that still bring up their children with these morels, teach your children right and they will be the leaders the rest will be followers...

 

[Smart Red]

Can't say exactly what I would have done. Preschoolers and kindergarteners always scared the dickens out of me. I would not have allowed one student to spend the day eating in front of the other students, though. It just isn't polite; just isn't done.

For my older students, we did have snack time each day and the students could bring a snack, but only for that time. No eating when snack was over. For those who didn't have or couldn't bring a snack, well. . . teacher always had a variety of good snacks available. Yup, lots of my pay check went back into the "curriculum". I did have one snack rule. If you wanted to share, you had to share with everyone not just with a few favorites/friends.

I know that we train young children to share. That is a good thing, but consider: when was the last time you shared you new car with a coworker. As adults, we expect children to carry the sharing idea a whole lot farther than we ourselves do. In some ways we do the children an injustice in making them think everyone else is taught to share in the same way.

Charity is a good thing. Sharing as a way of learning charity, empathy, and consideration for and towards others is a good thing. Saying we must share something good always is neither reasonable nor possible in the real world.

I am with you, @AMKuska, when it comes to teaching our children good values, but I am old/experienced enough to know that you'll never be able to teach that other child your good values. I would have had the fairness discussion, but I'd not have sent a treat the next day. Perhaps a conjured reason for a special treat a few days later, but not right away. Perhaps that is why you're feeling a bit unsure.

By the way, yes, yes, yes to the special lunch for Mr. Helpful. He learned a tough lesson and deserves the warmth and depth of your caring.