Happy to be home

[thistlebloom]

My DH and i just got back last night from a short visit to my folks. It's hard to get there as often as as I should, the best time for road travel is also the time my business is in full swing.
My little mama has her house on the fuschia clubs garden tour next week, and I wanted to help her get ready.
I was saddened by their advancing degree of weakness. My big dad who was always so strong and could build anything now has a hard time mowing their little lawn, and my mom, unsteady and in constant pain from a botched knee replacement scares me when she navigates around garden obstacles.
My husband and I put in a couple of days of heavy yard work, mostly clipping and cutting back since my mom hasn't been able to do routine garden care for about a year, and the garden really sparkled when we were done.
I'm proud of the garden my mom created by herself, it has good bones, and just needed a little tlc.

But I'm home now, and glad to be here. My vegetable garden thrived under the care of kid #2 who was left to hold down the fort.
I shouldn't be surprised, he's really very responsible and capable, but his interest in gardening pretty much amounts to indifference.
The weeds are bigger, but everything looks good to me. I had hoped for some kind of magic that would give me some ripe tomatoes when I got home, but no such luck.

Sometimes I wonder how I'll manage when I am my parents age....

 

[digitS']

Welcome Home, Thistle'!

I'd like to believe that I am managing what might be old age by being willing to accept change, staying curious about life, knowing the difference between what is important and what is not, trying to be effective where I can be while being happy with the little things in life.

I have to hope that others appreciate my efforts because as the years move by quickly and memories pile up, the day moves by rather slowly and aging itself, isn't very interesting.

Steve

 

[thistlebloom]

Well Steve, I'd like you to know that you are very appreciated here. You have a reservoir of knowledge and humor that educates and amuses, and I always look forward to your posts.


I agree, aging itself is not interesting, and at "only" 54 it has sombered me to see my parents situation and helped me to be grateful for what I can accomplish now.

Now, where is that darn time brake?

 

[Carol Dee]

Thistle, My parents are aging in ways that sadden me too. It is part of the circle of life. I think Steve has it right. Find pleasure in the memories and small things. God Bless and welcome home.

 

[lesa]

I feel your pain, thistle. Mom always had a small garden that she loved. As the years went by, more and more of the work fell to me. Over the years I dug up and transplanted many of her plants. My parents are in their 80's now and living in a retirement home. When I am out in my gardens, it really warms my heart to realize how many of the wonderful plants started out in her garden! My rhubarb is actually from my grandmother's garden! When Mom comes to visit, she loves to see plants that she remembers.
I can't imagine being too aged to garden. I am working so hard right now to stay healthy- vitamins, working out, eating right, etc. I am really hoping a retirement home, is not in my future.... I knew an amazing gardener. She was in her 90's. She had one of the most beautiful gardens, I have ever seen. It was big- big and long- and she watered it by hand, with a watering can everyday!! She inspired me so much- I am hoping to emulate her! If not, I will be growing a large pot of basil on the night stand!
Treasure your gardening moments with your parents- and dig up anything you can!

 

[NwMtGardener]

Welcome home thistle! I am planning a trip home next week, and as always, am somewhat apprehensive of how much change has occurred in the last year since my visit. For me, its the grandparents - my mom's mom really gave me the gardening bug, and now those grandparents live with my mom, and their garden, which was getting less and less attention, will be pretty much gone. Except in pictures and memory and i'm planning on getting some plants from my dad's parents to bring back to my garden this year. I've been wanting some allium for some time, and have room for garlic too, and i also love to have those 'living reminders' in the garden. My grandmother grows TONS of garlic and cans it every year, so it will be a constant reminder to me of her.

And Steve, i think that "knowing the difference between what is important and what is not" is a challenge at any age!! And i guess one of the reasons it may be hard is that that LINE (important/not important) is forever CHANGING. And moving. And evolving. Into circles. And quadrilaterals. And sometimes invisible!! Haha, just being silly, but seriously. my grandparents fuss so much over things that i dont think they should worry about. But then I DO IT TOO! Its just hard to get the right perspective sometimes. Like, from my perspective, it IS important to roll the hose up. Everytime. When you're done using it! But for my husband, not so much!! So i just gotta relax and realize it's not worth getting in a fight over

 

[momofdrew]

NwMtGardener if your grandmother is still canning get her recipies...my Gram canned but my mom wasnt interested and Gram died when I was 16 I wish I had her recipies now...

getting old is part of the circle of life but we dont need to go gently....It is really hard to watch someone who was once so vibrant become a different person...if you.... keep your mind active.... keep your sense of humor... keep learning new things then you will never grow old... I have Peter Pan syndrom and at 67 I refuse to grow up...

 

[cityfarmer]

Appreciate the time and live in the moment when you are able to see your parents. Cherish the memories. My mom is in the advanced stages of early-onset Alzheimer's. Seeing our parents change is difficult but part of the circle of life. Glad to hear you had a safe trip.

 

[Southern Gardener]

Cityfarmer, Im so sorry to hear that my grandmother had Alzheimers such a horrible disease.

Im very close to my parents. I remember growing up worshiping my dad he was my hero then and still is today. They are both in their 70s and in great shape, but have slowed down a great deal. I spend as much time as I can with them and cherish every moment.

 

[jojo54]

Welcome back, visiting parents can bring mixed emotions for sure.

My parents are in their 80s and have moved into an appartment. I thought it would be hard on my dad as he had his garage and shop where he puttered constantly. Well, you can adapt if you put your mind to it. In the underground garage, they all have storage units except my dad - his is a shop! He put a long table in it and has shelves, etc so can putter. Now he is ther fixing things and having a ball. Plus my sister lives on an acreage not to far from them and he stored a number of mechanical tools there. He still changes his own oil plus hers and does minor car repairs in her garage. Through word of mouth, he has had a number of fix-it jobs that pay cash that keep him in gold money. My mom did most of the yardwork (since my dad worked out of town alot) but was having leg problems so she couldn't keep up. She has tubs of flowers on their balcony that keeps her thumb green and even mows some lawn on my sister's acreage when she feels like it.

I hate being so far away but get home at least twice or three times a year for a visit (it was easier when my son was still here as far as leaving the chickens, etc but now that he is working away it just takes more planning to leave.)

I know I'm going on and on but I have one more story that I want to share. My ex's grandmother was sweet little lady who gardened right up to the end in her late 80's. She lived in her own home on her youngest son's homesection. They had a huge garden and chickens which Grandma J looked after. We were visiting one day and Grandma J had been out in the garden hilling potatoes. Somebody was visiting her DIL who saw grandma in the garden. They were shocked at this tiny lady hoeing out in the hot sun and asked "Why do you let her do that - it can't good for her" Her DIL looked at her with a surprised look and said "there is no letting her do anything - the garden is hers and sometimes she LETS us help." Gardening kept her young and spry - what a sweetie she was!