He’s Retired

[Carol Dee]

Today we hiked up the mountain to reach this waterfall. It’s not very full due to no rains.

Lovely falls and handsome husband

 

[Carol Dee]

Thanks for the Hugs @thistlebloom I just need to vent I guess! I hope once he is away from work stress things will settle.

 

[flowerbug]

At least he seems prepared for the *Honey Do * List and wants to get going on it. I do not see that happening here. Not sure what he plans to do. ANYTHING HE WANTS I guess I am also afraid of money issues as he is not 65 yet and insurance will be out of pocket. We tend to bicker about projects I think need doing and his response is always, I will do it, when I get to it! We bought a replacement garbage disposal 2 months ago. Still in box in front of sink. (He had a week off work during that time!) Water conditioner has not really worked in over a year. Needs to order a small part to fix it himself. When I remind him every 4 or 5 months I am a NAG. But I have spent so much on cleaners and other products to combat the hard water / rust issues I could have just bought a new one He is crabby and ill tempered with me, nothing I say comes out right. He is mad nearly constantly. Wish me luck.

all i can say is ask him how he would like to be approached and reminded, or if he needs to keep a list, or what, ask him and listen, and try not to say anything until he's done.

usually communication problems like this are habitual things where one person feels like X and the other person feels Y but they're not noticing that they're just not making good sense to each other and they need to figure out how to reconnect in more helpful and less damaging ways.

certainly, not nagging will help, it may mean less gets done, but if he's happier and you're both still alive i'd consider that a gain in household gettingalongability...

so, um, my take on this from the surface, without actually being there...

usually for me and Mom the issue is that Mom wakes up really early, so she's ready to talk as soon as i wake up, i'm not, i need a while to get awake before she starts in on things and projects and such... once in awhile she'll stop and laugh and say, "Oh, it's not until after 9am." which is the only way i can get her to realize i do need time to get going in the morning and talking to me about almost anything before that is either going to irritate me or means i won't really remember... just the way i am, always have been, but at least we still do laugh and once in a while i surprise her by saying something earlier in the morning if i've actually managed to wake up by then...

 

[flowerbug]

Carol, my husband is slow when he’s doing his projects cause he’s a perfectionist. I’m more of the “it looks better than before so it’s good enough let’s go to the next project.

I’m so glad he’s a handyman. He has saved us a lot of money on minor car repairs by looking at Utube.

Fortunately we don’t bicker but get along pretty well. So far I like having him home.

Mary

*ding ding!* same here, when i do something i usually do it very well and it does take a long time to get things done, but then i don't have to go back later and do them again. Mom is more like you. i shake my head because i know later it's going to come back and bite me in various ways (cleaning up messes is what i do a lot around here). it's just how it is. sometimes i do have to laugh hard at what happens and then other times i scream into a pillow because i know how much work that's going to cause me later...

a good example right now is that she's redoing some benches that were made out of slabs of wood that have rotted out. the wood she's using is mostly plywood but it's not very good stuff and it's going to fall apart within a few years. *shrug* i tried. she no listen... same with how to set the wood on the bench footings so that it wouldn't wobble. *double shrug*

 

[Nyboy]

carol life is to short to live with someone who is always negative and unhappy. Some people are afraid of being alone, and will put up with a lot.

 

[Carol Dee]

carol life is to short to live with someone who is always negative and unhappy. Some people are afraid of being alone, and will put up with a lot.

He has always been very touchy about certain things. Has always got hurt feelings easily. Once mad or upset with someone he can't seem to let go. Still holds grudges from High School! He really is a nice guy and would give the shirt off his back to someone in need. Will help any one that needs it. He can be real generous and kids love him. The stress at work has him more edgy this last year. So I do hope things calm down after retirement. *sigh*

 

[Nyboy]

sounds like a good man stressed out

 

[Carol Dee]

sounds like a good man stressed out

I sure hope that is all. 'cause I am getting crabby too being on edge and walking on eggshells when he is in a mood. Time will tell.

 

[digitS']

Good luck, @Carol Dee .

Dad had problems retiring ... well, I did too ... but they weren't entirely emotional. Dad didn't like a new manager who was about 25 years his junior. Dad could have transferred about 30 miles away. As it was, his responsibilities diminished as he chose to stay but the new role aggravated him. He retired at 62.

Soon after, I remember telling him that he was mad all the time. He said, "I am NOT!" Kinda proved my point. He went back to work at a very different job, seasonally (a rodeo and trail ride outfit ). After a couple of seasons, he seemed to have learned to be retired.

Steve

 

[baymule]

I sure hope that is all. 'cause I am getting crabby too being on edge and walking on eggshells when he is in a mood. Time will tell.

It will be an adjustment. Stop waking on eggshells. You are a wonderful person and your feelings count too. Haha, sometimes I tell my husband to shut the HE!! up it is MY turn to be in a bad mood. I put up with his crap, now he has to put up with mine. LOL I rant and rave, then we end up laughing.