Mom Fell, Sugery, Hospital and Nursing Home

[digitS']

Bay', it is said that good things are worth waiting for.

Most times, the health care people are real good at what they do. Don't be in too much of a rush to pull your loved one away from them and their care. Try to look on some of this time as a little bit of a vacation to be by yourself, or just with your DH.

I used to take those long walks down hospital corridors during the long night hours - on my way to the snack machines. Just me and my footsteps as company -- it was a relief to know that others had some responsibilities for my loved one. My time came soon enough, again and again and again.

Steve

 

[Jared77]

Sounds like she's in good hands Bay, she'll be home soon.

 

[Chickie'sMomaInNH]

good to hear she is doing well after that type of surgery. i hope she has a swift recovery and a lot less pain. she looks like she is doing really well so soon after her surgery. good thing she didn't keep the pain held in for many days till you got her to the ER/doc.

we lost my FIL almost 2 years ago from that surgery but he wasn't taking good care of himself and held back his pain for almost a week before doing something about it.

 

[NwMtGardener]

Oh wow Bay, what an ordeal!! I bet your Mom will do great recovering from that surgery, i've seen lots of patients do really really well afterwards. I get to run xray in those surgeries sometimes, they're really cool to watch!

 

[Smart Red]

Mom looks pretty chipper after such a bad time. Prayers and good wishes that she recoups well. Beautiful dog!

 

[journey11]

Awww, that is a sweet picture of your mama and her furry therapy buddy. :happy_flower You can see in her eyes how much better Polly is making her feel. Sorry to hear you guys have had such a rough few days, but how wonderful that they had such a simple and effective treatment for her back pain. I hope she gets some good rest (and you try to get some rest too, young lady!) and that she'll get to come home before too long. Congrats on the special occasion of your granddaughter's baptism too. I'll be praying for you guys!

 

[catjac1975]

She looks fantastic in the photo. I cannot believe she is 90! And your church burned down??? They let the dog visit in the nursing home? Wow! Progressive thinking. How wonderful that you brought her to live with you. Many children would never do that. It sounds like she got wonderful care and has more time coming at home with you. You are a good child. Hope she heals fast.

 

[baymule]

Mom is coming right along. The therapists will work with her on her walker today and she is scheduled for release on Tuesday Sept 10. She has lost 10 pounds, not surprising, the food leaves a lot to be desired. I AM a good cook (patting self on back) and institutional food has no taste. Not to mention my cooking is fresh, home grown and canned, frozen or dehydrated. Plus I actually use spices which are a toxic banned substance at hospitals and nursing homes. I have enjoyed taking off from restaurant duty, for DH and me, we are happy with a stir fry of whatever is in the garden tossed in an iron skillet. When Mom gets home, it'll be back to the meat, 3 or 4 veggies, desert and bread. I can feel the pounds packing on, and I don't mean on Mom. :/ We have been sitting in our recliners with our plates in our laps, watching TV as we eat supper. Back to setting the table, putting everything in serving bowls (just more dirty dishes) and spending hours on a meal that we wipe out in 10 minutes or less.

I think this has been an eye opener for Mom. She is not very appreciative of the fact that I quit my job, no longer have 401K, savings, insurance and that paycheck that paid some of the bills around here. She has had this lofty attitude like she was doing us some sort of a favor by moving in with us. I understand that she had to give up her home and that her stroke robbed her of her own independent life, but she could at least be grateful that she had someplace to go. Now she is really seeing where she would be if she were not living with us. Maybe it will make a difference. Maybe not.

DH is off on Sundays and Mondays. Monday we will go somewhere for the day and do something--our last Hurrah! before Mom comes back home and we are grounded and can't go anywhere without providing a sitter for Mom. Taking care of Mom is certainly restricting, it has taken away the spontaneous "Hey! let's go do _____ today!" We have felt like teenagers with parents out of town. Mom doesn't travel well anymore, fortunately there are several people at church that will come to the house and stay with her to let us go visit our DD and DSIL once in awhile.

If ya'll know anyone that is caring for elderly parents, go visit them. Offer to sit with the parent(s) so the caregiver can get a break. Even a couple of hours to go to the grocery store, go out to eat with their spouse can make a major difference. You never know when it might be you that needs help.

 

[Ridgerunner]

Thats obviously good news. Glad to hear your Mom is doing OK. But it is a double edged sword. Caregiving does tie you down. Church members have been a tremendous help with my father-in-law once he got over the problem of asking for help and allowing them to help.

Its not just older parents either. I can think of people with invalid spouses or mothers with young children that can occasionally really use a break. There seem to be social barriers to asking for help or offering help. Sort of like an invasion of privacy. It shouldnt be that way but it often is.

Resentment can build up too if you dont get a break. Sort of a different topic but Im thinking of a single mother raising her son that really got mad at her siblings for not helping her out with raising that boy. But she was very careful to not let them know she needed help. When it finally blew up it caused some serious rifts in sibling relationships. They didnt know why she was mad.

Bay, I really respect you for what you are doing but dont be afraid to ask for help. Sounds like you have people that will and do help and that you have it under control.

 

[897tgigvib]

I'm sure glad your mom is getting better!

Next is to fatten her back up.

I remember my OLE UNCLE FARNUM. His grandmother's father was General Robert E. Lee. Farnum was the guy who first coined the phrase, "Gettin' old aint fer Sissies!" When he said that one he always whacked his cane on the ground at the same instant as the first letter of the word sissies. He really really wanted to live I guess forever. Wanted to know exactly what the latest space probe to Uranus or Saturn was up to, and when are those fools gonna launch something to Pluto. He called all doctors "croakers". My 2nd cousin Jimmy inherited his bible. Farnum's bible was Robert E. Lee's bible! It had all the books of the bible in it including about 25 books that are not in anyone elses bible. 2nd and 3rd books of Esther, things like that. But, gettin' old finally caught up to even Farnum who rode a Harley back in the 1920s, dug up Eohippus fossils for the fun of it, discovered Camels used to live in Montana, and took their fossils to give to the University in Bozeman.

Yep Bay, enjoy the last years of your mother. Get her stories she has not told yet. Carry her if she can't walk. She has her normal human pride. Let her have that. I know. It may not be easy at some moments.