Multi-generation households

[digitS']

My tuition and fees didn't cover room and board. I always lived off-campus. I wanted it that way but probably missed out on things. Mom and Dad had saved right at $1800 for me to go to school. Somehow, it paid for tuition, fees and books. I ran it down to zero in 4 years but never used it for anything else.

Yes, lunch was sometimes a baked potato with cheese melted inside. I carried it to work. Some of the time, I didn't have a car and road a bicycle or walked during snow and ice. I lived that year about a half mile from campus and about a mile from work.

Did not live with Mom and Dad long after I turned 18. One problem was that my brother came back to stay with them . Another that they lived 80 miles from school. I did work on weekends in the same town one year and stayed with Mom and Dad on Friday and Saturday nights, and Christmas/Spring break. Oh, and while I usually had a vehicle, I also had a rural paper route one year. My experience as a paper boy .

Steve

 

[Ridgerunner]

My tuition and fees didn't cover room and board. I always lived off-campus. I wanted it that way but probably missed out on things. Mom and Dad had saved right at $1800 for me to go to school. Somehow, it paid for tuition, fees and books. I ran it down to zero in 4 years but never used it for anything else.

Yes, lunch was sometimes a baked potato with cheese melted inside. I carried it to work. Some of the time, I didn't have a car and road a bicycle or walked during snow and ice. I lived that year about a half mile from campus and about a mile from work.

Did not live with Mom and Dad long after I turned 18. One problem was that my brother came back to stay with them . Another that they lived 80 miles from school. I did work on weekends in the same town one year and stayed with Mom and Dad on Friday and Saturday nights, and Christmas/Spring break. Oh, and while I usually had a vehicle, I also had a rural paper route one year. My experience as a paper boy .

Steve

I did a quick check. What costs $1750 a year in the late 1960's would cost about $26,500 today for an instate student. That's from the school website. The inflation rate from them until now is 6.56 from one site I found. If the college costs had followed inflation that should be $11,480, not $26,500 if I did all that math right. Quite a change for a somewhat small university in a small town. Tennessee Tech in Cookeville. Some school's costs are a lot higher.

I'm not trying to say that all of today's kids don't have that drive in them, that they are all afraid to work or are all looking for handouts. I've seen some that are truly amazing kids. I don't think it is as easy to work your way through college as it used to be. Back when I was going to college most of those kids didn't make it on their own either.

Each generation sees it's own circumstances and challenges. My parents grew up in the Great Depression and experienced WW II. I saw the turmoil of the 60's and Vietnam. My kids saw whatever they saw in the 90's. We were all shaped by those experiences. Of course we are all going to be different.

 

[seedcorn]

IMO, living at home in college is different than living at home while they have (or don’t have) a job. Starter homes & cars are beneath some. I see a lot of young people buying better houses/cars than their parents. Then whine when something happens and they can’t make a payment. As FIL said, Champaign tastes, beer pocket book.

 

[Artichoke Lover]

Honestly young people aren’t thought how to function these day’s. I can’t count how many friends in Highschool or college couldn’t operate a washing machine or fill out a check. Couldn’t even cook boxed meals or scrambled eggs. Lots of schools don’t even have home education as an elective anymore much less a required class. AG class is a joke. I knew several people that took it because the teacher would let them sleep under a table instead of doing work and they would get an A. They don’t learn at home either. I know lots of people who didn’t get their license under they were 19 because their parents would drop everything to drive them around. It’s really sad. I learned these skills because my mom was extremely sick during my middle school years and couldn’t take care of the house or really even herself it was a bad situation but I learned to cook and clean, mow the lawn, do grocery shopping. And I’m very grateful for that. It was horrifying to go into high school and realize how many other teens didn’t know those things.
(Sorry about the rant this ticked me off at 14 and probably will until I’m 94)

 

[Zeedman]

@digitS' , I do so love these back-fence philosophical discussions of yours, to revive sleeping synapses.

IMO, living at home in college is different than living at home while they have (or don’t have) a job.

I couldn't agree more.

For the most part, despite the title of this thread, what has been discussed to this point is not large multi-generation households (3 or more generations) but two-generation households. One of the biggest (if not the biggest) influences on the increase in multi-generational households has probably been the immigration of Asian and Hispanic families, where such households are more prevalent in the culture. I see that locally in the Hmong community.

I can speculate on a few other factors which may be influencing children choosing to live with their parents, based upon comparing my past experiences to present conditions.

I am part of the Boomer generation, when large families were still quite common. Growing up as one of seven, there was not a lot of extra spending money. If I wanted something outside the family budget, I would have to find ways to pay for it myself - so I learned to work for what I wanted at an early age. By the time I was 10, my brother & I would go door-to-door in our neighborhood cutting grass, raking leaves, or shoveling snow. That experience taught us the importance of being true to your word, and doing a good job - and it gave me great pride to buy that top-of-the-line Schwinn with my own money. When I got a little older, I did some day work on a local truck farm; a little older still, and I took a job delivering newspapers. By the time I turned 19 (when I joined the military) I had worked at a full-time job, and already had a deeply established work ethic. And spent a few mornings working through a hangover... because after all, I was young and enjoying my freedom & independence to the hilt.

It is not as easy for young people to find the jobs now which would instill a good work ethic at an early age. Those newspaper jobs are all done by adults working out of vans now, and the small truck farms have disappeared. Even if young people seek ways to earn money, there are very few opportunities available. Plus, families are having fewer children now, and have more money to spend - so parents spend more on their children (even after they reach adulthood). Due to this, the need for youngsters to earn money of their own in young adulthood has perhaps been delayed - to their detriment.

It deeply concerns me that in their most formative years, our youth are increasingly being deprived of opportunity. There are no signs of that situation improving, which does not bode well for the ability of future generations to live independently - and to cherish that independence.

 

[digitS']

Multiple - (mŭl′tə-pəl) adj.
Having, relating to, or consisting of more than one individual, element, part, or other component; manifold.

A woman may be a mother to a multiple birth of twins.

But yes, I was thinking of adults of more than a single generation. Grandchildren are an added consideration. Note that the 1940 census appears to be the reference to the second highest number of these households. A war was ongoing in much of the world and many American young men were already in the military service by that year. Wives, some with children, were returning to live with parents.

I'm not seeing my willful intolerance to live with my brother as a virtue. Nor, were my own "adult" indulgences in my late teens. Also, burning through resources showed a lack of planning and imagination.

Tolerance for others can be a virtue. Not tolerance for errant behavior so much but being tolerant of those limited by age and infirmatives. Just speaking from a personal perspective . Compassion, kindness, community, peace, integrity.

It must also be said that stubborn independence is often not a virtue and does not lend itself to family and community harmony. It's often downright stupid, ignoring that which is done for all of us in the nature of "common good" with infrastructure being only a part of it. Emphasis on "paying" for the individual's part of it ignores so very much of the complexity of modern life. Imagine the individual paying for it all, from the ground up. Ha!

Steve

 

[seedcorn]

@Artichoke Lover School problems are another problem that starts with parents-or lack of.

Too many people have their kids and G’kids living with them. Kids see free baby sitters and no responsibilities as other half of baby maker is “who knows where”.

Unfortunately we’ve taught our kids that they have no responsibilities or ramifications of their action. Mommy/Daddy will clean it up.

My Dad told wife & me if we hit hard times, she (& any kids were welcome to come live with them). Looked at me & said, you won’t be, work it out!

 

[flowerbug]

Honestly young people aren’t thought how to function these day’s. I can’t count how many friends in Highschool or college couldn’t operate a washing machine or fill out a check. Couldn’t even cook boxed meals or scrambled eggs. Lots of schools don’t even have home education as an elective anymore much less a required class. AG class is a joke. I knew several people that took it because the teacher would let them sleep under a table instead of doing work and they would get an A. They don’t learn at home either. I know lots of people who didn’t get their license under they were 19 because their parents would drop everything to drive them around. It’s really sad. I learned these skills because my mom was extremely sick during my middle school years and couldn’t take care of the house or really even herself it was a bad situation but I learned to cook and clean, mow the lawn, do grocery shopping. And I’m very grateful for that. It was horrifying to go into high school and realize how many other teens didn’t know those things.
(Sorry about the rant this ticked me off at 14 and probably will until I’m 94)

we were all taught to do all the various chores needed, cooking, cleaning, even sewing, all three of us boy siblings know how to sew, laundry, ironing, and then we also had home-economic classes in high school. shop classes in jr. high if you wanted to take them for basic wood working and metal working. then i also was very involved in all cooking and canning as a kid and gardening too as i had a green thumb and loved house plants and outdoor gardening too. to me eating at a restaurant was always a lluxury and a treat and pretty much the same for any meals that were boxed or pre-made instead of from scratch. we still eat that ways most of the time here. i cook or make sandwiches or snack for a meal if i don't want that much.

in terms of multi-generational houses, we spent so much time at Grandma's house when i was a kid that it was usually the three generations there. Mom didn't know how to cook as a teen but Grandma taught her how to cook all her dishes so Dad would be happy.

the past year we've baked much less bread than normal but after trying a lot of the bakery and commercial breads we've returned to baking more recently. thank goodness. grilled cheese sandwhiches just haven't been right. also a few weeks ago i made Mom stand by while i did the whole process so i knew what she was doing and how. i've made bread before plenty of times from scratch but i normally was using a bread machine so this time it was all manual to make six loaves at a time. that is what will fit in the oven with the pans we use. good bread. she made bread again yesterday and i had to have an extra slice with butter as my dessert because it was so good.

 

[digitS']

cooking, cleaning, even sewing, all three of us boy siblings know how to sew, laundry, ironing

We are a "product" of a family. As our parents were. Dad had 6 brothers and no sister. Imagine, his little mother Pearl was the only girl in the house. What is a mom to do?

I had the idea that Grandma Pearl was somewhat spoiled . Those boys did housework, A to Z. Oh, I have no doubt that life was hard. Dad was right in the middle and only 11 years old when the stock market crashed. Nothing much would have been easy on a farm in the 1930's.

Sewing? Sure, I learned to sew, first by hand and then using the other grandmother's machine. Here is one like it:

Ironing, cleaning, cooking ... Independence?

Have you noticed that young people from wealthy families have a hard time not spending a lot of money? Have you noticed that they engage quite a few people to do things for them ... including, make more money for them, the wealthy young people.

Steve

 

[flowerbug]

We are a "product" of a family. As our parents were. Dad had 6 brothers and no sister. Imagine, his little mother Pearl was the only girl in the house. What is a mom to do?

I had the idea that Grandma Pearl was somewhat spoiled . Those boys did housework, A to Z. Oh, I have no doubt that life was hard. Dad was right in the middle and only 11 years old when the stock market crashed. Nothing much would have been easy on a farm in the 1930's.

Sewing? Sure, I learned to sew, first by hand and then using the other grandmother's machine. Here is one like it:

Ironing, cleaning, cooking ... Independence?

Have you noticed that young people from wealthy families have a hard time not spending a lot of money? Have you noticed that they engage quite a few people to do things for them ... including, make more money for them, the wealthy young people.

Steve

that looks very familiar. i have a Singer featherweight in my closet. i don't use it often, but it is there just in case i need it.

my Granny was smart, her first child was a girl who then had to help with all the rest which were boys, one after another, 9 boys survived. Aunt Kay was 2nd Mom.