My BJ, My Husband has Died

[baymule]

I tried to take BJ off the car insurance yesterday. They wouldn't do it without a death certificate. I canceled some of his credit cards online, a tedious process. It takes FOREVER clicking on various pages to finally find the tiny print of Cancel my Account. Then they send you to a representative by chat. Chat used to be fast, easy and a nice way to get help. It took from 5-10 minutes to even get a representative on chat and I had to stare at the stupid screen the whole time, waiting on Hi, I'm so and so, what can I help you with? Responses were very slow, so once I got a live I-don't-know-what-who-or-where on line, it was still slow. I still have a few more to do.

I canceled his United Healthcare supplement, that was fairly easy, but had a bad cell phone connection and had to stand outside in the rain to get that done. Went through the Notes on my phone, canceling his future Doctor appointments. Standard reply, I'm sorry for your loss. NO ONE even wanted my address to even send flowers, cash gifts or a box of chocolates. I just don't get it.

 

[AMKuska]

@baymule - You can sometimes get a temporary death certificate that doesn't show the cause of death, it will just say 'pending'. You can use that for people who don't care how he died, just that he died. My uncle passed away recently and we got one of these so they would let us cancel utilities, etc.

Also, be prepared for them to call and remind you about his appointment even after you canceled it and explained why.

 

[R2elk]

I found this site to be helpful in getting stopped unwanted mail to my mother after she died.

Deceased Do Not Contact Registration

 

[Marie2020]

I read that thread, then added my recipe for monkey bread. haha @Marie2020 have some more cinnamon!

I will , Steve the cinnamon pusher has got me hooked

 

[Marie2020]

@baymule - You can sometimes get a temporary death certificate that doesn't show the cause of death, it will just say 'pending'. You can use that for people who don't care how he died, just that he died. My uncle passed away recently and we got one of these so they would let us cancel utilities, etc.

Also, be prepared for them to call and remind you about his appointment even after you canceled it and explained why.

I've heard about these appointments being sent, my friends father bills kept coming with threat of bailiffs.

The lack of thought within the admin of these places infuriate me. They put my friends family in a heck of a lot of pain and wasted so much of their time.

I say they should be fined after so many times

 

[Marie2020]

I tried to take BJ off the car insurance yesterday. They wouldn't do it without a death certificate.

What a bunch of insensitive nitwits. This company should be exposed.

I canceled some of his credit cards online, a tedious process. It takes FOREVER clicking on various pages to finally find the tiny print of Cancel my Account. Then they send you to a representative by chat. Chat used to be fast, easy and a nice way to get help. It took from 5-10 minutes to even get a representative on chat and I had to stare at the stupid screen the whole time, waiting on Hi, I'm so and so, what can I help you with? Responses were very slow, so once I got a live I-don't-know-what-who-or-where on line, it was still slow. I still have a few more to do.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with such incompetence

I canceled his United Healthcare supplement, that was fairly easy, but had a bad cell phone connection and had to stand outside in the rain to get that done. Went through the Notes on my phone, canceling his future Doctor appointments. Standard reply, I'm sorry for your loss. NO ONE even wanted my address to even send flowers, cash gifts or a box of chocolates. I just don't get it.

I do they just don't care. What are these people like with their own families

 

[Marie2020]

I’m going through old pictures for BJs memorial. I ran across our wedding pictures. The sheriff of the county walked in with his shotgun. BJ had been a pretty rowdy guy, got thrown in jail for bar fights and such. He was well known to the law. LOL

So Billy Ray walked in dressed in a ridiculous get-up and a shotgun. He announced, “I’m here to make sure Bobby Joe gets married and Dana don’t run off.”

We really did have a shotgun wedding.

You look stunning by the way.

 

[baymule]

I found this site to be helpful in getting stopped unwanted mail to my mother after she died.

Deceased Do Not Contact Registration

Thank you for this! When I move and change my address, his junk mail would follow me!

 

[AMKuska]

I've heard about these appointments being sent, my friends father bills kept coming with threat of bailiffs.

The lack of thought within the admin of these places infuriate me. They put my friends family in a heck of a lot of pain and wasted so much of their time.

I say they should be fined after so many times

100%. Last year I received a lecturing letter from the health department telling me that one of my children was severely behind on vaccines. I spent over an hour on the phone with my pediatric checking up on the vaccines for my children, only to find out they were all up to date.

Only after this did I realize they'd sent it for the one child who didn't live long enough to receive her vaccines. One would think having access to my children's vaccines records would mean they also have access to death records, and know not to call. It was so insensitive.

 

[baymule]

I called my sister crying yesterday morning. Having a bad day. We talked for awhile and I felt better. She suggested that I take BJ's clothing to a men's shelter, that it will be cold soon and they will need socks, coats, everything. So I started cleaning out the closet. BJ's closet is 4'x10'. I built 2 towers, 18" deep x 7' tall. One is 3' wide, the other is 2' wide and I put shelves in it. 2 pole bars for hanging clothes go between the towers. I put baskets on some of the shelves for small items like socks and underwear. I put a bookcase in the closet for his shoes. He was so proud of his closet, and it was full. The man liked clothing and looking good.

So far I have 8 trash bags full and I'm not done yet. I still have to bag up coats and suits. I'm keeping his shirts to make quilts for the granddaughters. A woman who I've known all of her 42 years looked at him as her dad because her father was an alcoholic train wreck and died when she was in her 20's. She even lived with us for about a year one time. I will make her a memory pillow and I'm giving her one of his big T-shirts. I'm keeping one of his army coats, I have a picture of him wearing it that I love. Keeping a few of his T-shirts too so I can wear them around the house or sleep in them. I feel much better knowing that his things will go to those in need. I can't haul all that around with me, so best to face reality now and do something positive with them. Tearful? Yes. Hard? Yes. But it must be done.