No wonder some animals eat their young

[dewdropsinwv]

I know what you mean catjack1975. I would hate for my grandson to be put in a foster home, but I don't think I would have a chance to take him. I just dont know

 

[thistlebloom]

There are some fabulous foster parents out there. However, many also are in it for the money and are terrible.

My oldest and best friend is one of those rare jewels. She and her husband take the toughest kids that have emotional and behavioral issues that the general foster community can't handle, then lavish them with love and a structured, secure home life and bring them around to being able to function normally in most life situations. She's my hero.

 

[catjac1975]

My oldest and best friend is one of those rare jewels. She and her husband take the toughest kids that have emotional and behavioral issues that the general foster community can't handle, then lavish them with love and a structured, secure home life and bring them around to being able to function normally in most life situations. She's my hero.

I know their are special people like that and I know a few myself. The town where I taught was a haven for foster care. The special people like your friends are few. I would hope Dew you can get your grandchildren if it comes to that. I will pray that your daughter sees reality.

 

[dewdropsinwv]

I can hope and pray that she will eventually wake up and see that she is on the verge of loosing both of her kids. I would never choose a guy over my kids.

 

[digitS']

People choose companions by how they make them feel. Some folks have dysfunctional ideas about the world, themselves, other people ...

Still, we all should understand the "Wow! She likes me!" "I feel valued!" "I feel secure." "Honored." "I can't get enough of this!" "If I lose this I'm going to be miserable!"

Others who care about the people involved may think otherwise but we so often, and rightly, encourage our young people to think independently. We see so much self-destructive behavior. Where can we foster a balance? No extremes - in general, humans are too fragile for that. Very few of us are built on a heroic model.

Steve

 

[Nyboy]

If she is renting you might want to let the landlord know who is living there.

 

[thistlebloom]

In my own sad experience of late, the faith I had in the authorities that could make a difference if they only did their job has been shattered.

Maybe it's just endemic to the town my parents lived in, but when my older sister and I tried to get help for our folks nobody did what they were drawing a paycheck for.

The pervert (registered SO ) my other sibling chose, absconded from the state he was living in and traveled to my folks town where he and she moved in with my parents. He was duly reported to the state he absconded from and the proper authorities alerted in the place he arrived. The previous state can't do anything unless he goes back there, and sheriff in my folks town ignored it.
The elder protection office was notified of financial abuse at the hands of my sibling and her boyfriend (and I'm positive there was also emotional abuse, and probably physical too, but it can't be proved now) but they didn't investigate, because as the worker later admitted, those of us who filed the report were out of state and she thought it was just sibling bickering.

That's all water under the bridge now, but not a day goes by that I don't wish I had physically gone down there and raised hell with them and rescued my parents. I would no doubt now be involved in some court case, serving a jail term and with a record to add to my resume.

 

[dewdropsinwv]

I can understand all the emotional feelings, but come on steve, of all people a CONVICTED RAPIST!!!??? She is a very pretty girl.... but her choices are seriously in question here. I would rather die than put my sister, mother, daughter, whom ever at risk like that!!!!!!
She is buying on land contract.

 

[Rhodie Ranch]

oh I feel for you all. Tough love is very hard as I see many of you have done just that. Me too with my DD. Crack addict right out of high school (honors student), homeless for over a year (mommy pls let me come home -no), kicked her addiction by herself, but like an idiot married her dealer, got pregnant, then finally got her life together. Went to community college, then Wash State Univ grad summa cum laude, now online student at Portland State, living in Arkansas with her new husband and 2 kids.

See miracles happen...

A therapist got me thru those years, and provided great advice.

 

[Smart Red]

I am late into this discussion, but I want you to know how badly I feel for what you are going through.

I am pretty much supporting my 38 year old son. I keep telling the Grands that if it weren't for them, Dad would be on his own, but how can I justify letting my Grands live with the power turned off or without proper medical attention? At least the problem is L-A-Z-Y rather than drugs or such and his wife seems fine with working while he stays home. I fear I'd be kicking his sorry butt to the job center if I were his wife.

As it is, I'm paying for the house, insurance for house and truck, truck, real estate taxes, sewer bills, and -- upon occasion -- his phone or energy bills. Then there is the money for gas or food he needs every so often when his wife's work is slow.

I keep kicking myself for giving in so often, but he's a lovable guy and a great father (except for the poor example he's setting) and always there are the grandchildren.

"Tough love" is much easier to suggest than to do, especially when grandchildren are involved. You are in my prayers that current events resolve in a positive way for you both and the precious babies.