Not Sure What to Do.

[Nyboy]

I have a client I will call Ann, who has been with me over 10 years. I have watched Ann get married and have 2 kids. Ann"s dog has always had a lot of health problems, once I had to take her to vets, her medical records where size of phone book. Shortly after getting married Ann got pregnant and stopped working, her dogs vet bill for that year was over $15,000. Ann's husband the sole bill payer always had a issue with the cost of the dog. Their 2nd child was born with Glaucoma, for the past year and a half they have been to every eye Dr in the country and a few in Europe. The dog his been in kennel more then home. I do not charge them. 8 weeks ago the baby had to have a eye removed,Ann told me the hardest thing she ever did was take him to hospital that day. A few times when I talked to her on the phone I was worried she sounded very stressed. The dog had been with me for the 8 weeks it took for baby to heal. The husband picked up the dog Monday, yesterday I got a call the baby's fake eye rolled and need to go back in hospital. When the husband dropped off dog last night he said his wife is close to a break down and can't deal with the dog at this time. I told him no one would adopt a 13 year old dog with many health problems and he wold have to put her to sleep. Husband knew this and said his wife would never agree to that, if he did it would ruin his marriage This is his plan while dog is with me he would take it and have it put to sleep, I tell his wife dog died in her sleep I came in and found her dead. told him I have to think about it. I feel Ann is more then a client she is a friend, don't know about lieing to her.I think she would feel very guilty about dog spending so much time in kennel rather then home . But I do think Ann is close to a break down. Not sure what I and going to tell husband.

 

[Ridgerunner]

I'm just here to give sympathy. I don't think there is a good answer. That dog dying peacefully in its sleep may be a relief to her. It may be the straw that kicks her into a breakdown. "It's my fault because I left her alone in the kennel." I'm glad I don't have to make that decision because I don't know which way I'd go. A factor for me would be what the quality of life for that dog really is. Is it just the husband worrying about the money or is the dog suffering so much it would be better off put down.

 

[thistlebloom]

Don't lie to your friend. You don't need that on your back.


If your willing to absorb the kenneling costs, then maybe just continue to board the dog. If there's some crisis and the dog needs the vet....well I guess you'll have to jump that hurdle if it comes.
But for now I'd keep things as they are.
That's not an easy place they've placed you in.

 

[so lucky]

Another factor is whether you can live with the fact that you will have lied to a friend about something that important.
On the plus side, you probably wouldn't be seeing Ann after this event, if she has no more pets to be groomed.
Is the dog ill enough that dying in her sleep is even plausible?
Could it be that the husband is seeing this as an opportunity to rid their life of this money pit dog? And looking out for himself rather than his wife?
I think I would be inclined to refuse to take part in the lie. Whether she is on the verge of a breakdown or not, my feeling is that she has the right to be able to say goodbye to her dog baby.
It is possible that she knows putting the dog down is the best solution, but she needs to give herself permission. Maybe with your help, and the vet's help, she can do that.

 

[seedcorn]

I'll be bad guy. Do it, shut up. It's a 13 year old dog with bad health. It's an animal. IF she wants to blame someone, tell her I did it. I'll take the heat. She has more than enough on her plate.

 

[bobm]

If it was me, I would help with a little lie to eliminate the financial as well as the mental burden placed unto this family that would lead to even more issues that would result in bankruptsy. A 13 year old dog is nearing the end of it's life in any event, then with it's past, current and without a dought it's future health issues, more bills will pile up and Ann with her child's health issues has more on her plate that she can handle so this could just put her over the edge. Just go for it and don't look back on any guilt trip !!! I have done this type of thing ( put down many dogs, cats as well as other animals using the pink happy juice ) many times and I feel relief by lifting their burdens of their mind and back.

 

[catjac1975]

I get his dilemma. But, the truth will find a way of coming back. Maybe the vet can make the determination that it is better to put the dog down. I personally would not put a pet through that much treatment. But I also get that she needs this dog to be alive right now. You are a good man. Alex.

 

[canesisters]

I wouldn't do it.
In the few times that I've been in situations similar to this, I've considered how I would feel if the places were reversed.
Soon after my husband died, my dog came out of remission from cancer. I was dealing with a LOT and having to run Frankie to the vet every week for a new symptom didn't appear to be helping. However, if someone had taken him to be put down - even though I knew that his time was limited and we were walking that fine line of 'quality of life' - I don't know that I wouldn't have seen it as a betrayal.
You may see it as easing her burden. But she may see the ongoing, long term treatments as her only bit of sanity.
If her husband feels that it needs to be done, he should do it with her full knowledge - not behind her back.

 

[Beekissed]

I'd volunteer to adopt the dog and then I'd make the decision to not treat ailments any longer...what's the point on a dog that old? Then, if the dog is in any pain, I'd put it down. If not, I'd give it a home until it died of its ailments.

At that point it's not Ann's dog any longer and not on her conscience whether it is in kennel or being put down. Someone has lifted that burden in all ways from this family.

I'd do all that but I'd not lie to this woman.

 

[journey11]

Since it's the husband's opinion that she can't deal with the dog right now, that might not be her sentiment. I would be furious if my husband did something like that behind my back. You would be covering for his lie. If that's what he wants to do, he needs to address it openly with her first. It sounds like he is done messing with the dog and this arrangement might actually be for his benefit more than hers. I am sure he is very stressed too. It seems like a quick and easy fix, but it might not even be necessary at this time, especially since you've been all right with boarding the dog for free anyway (no additional financial worry with it). Unless the dog is currently suffering or has another medical crisis, I can't see justifying putting the dog down just because it's more convenient. I think you'd probably feel the weight of guilt in the long run.

Prayers for the baby and the family. I know how hard those long trips to the hospital are, especially with a newborn. With time, things will get better for them.