Since NO ONE knows me and can't send a hit man after me.........

[ninnymary]

seedcorn, when I first read the title of this post, I thought it was one about organic verses non-organic. I don't dare touch those posts!

Mary

 

[thistlebloom]

Thank you for taking it in the spirit it was asked. Love the responses.

Now go enjoy Mother's Day tomorrow. For those that still have them on this earth, truly love them tomorrow.


FYI, it's not that we don't remember the things against us, it's clearly that we choose not to.

Yes, I agree. This may make me unpopular with the female contingent, but women can be shallow and petty too. And have memories like an elephant.

I think selfishness on both sides of the gender equation is what is the root of most problems.

 

[catjac1975]

Having a bad day,are we?

Someone please explain this to me. After 30+ years of marriage, why:

1) Does each generation turn out MIL that are bossy? The wives that complain about their MIL, then turn into the person they complain about.
2) Men are perfect when dating, then after the "I does", the wife thinks it necessary to change everything about him?
3) Explain why the thought that "If mama ain't happy, then NO ONE will be happy." but yet never hear "If papa ain't happy, then NO ONE will be happy."
4) During an argument, stuff is brought up that happened 30+ years ago from the wife but the husband is talking about something that happened 5 minutes ago or is happening.

Now I will go into police protection plan......

 

[NwMtGardener]

I think selfishness on both sides of the gender equation is what is the root of most problems.

And lack of clear communication on both sides :/ like ...who ever talks about all the practical $#|T when you're dating, like finances, or cleaning the house, etc, etc, etc. nobody! Cause you're in luuuuuuuve! And everything will be fiiiiiine! Then you're married and there are a zillion more responsibilities and expectations of That Perfect Life are shattered (cause it just aint a perfect world honey!). Well yeaaaah...

 

[Collector]

I think selfishness on both sides of the gender equation is what is the root of most problems.

And lack of clear communication on both sides :/ like ...who ever talks about all the practical $#|T when you're dating, like finances, or cleaning the house, etc, etc, etc. nobody! Cause you're in luuuuuuuve! And everything will be fiiiiiine! Then you're married and there are a zillion more responsibilities and expectations of That Perfect Life are shattered (cause it just aint a perfect world honey!). Well yeaaaah...

Yeah that about covers it!

 

[Jared77]

"Therefore be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you."

Ephesians 4:32

Amen Thistle amazing how well that book quotes

I think people don't realize that relationships are work. Because they evolve just as we evolve, so both partners need to be sure they are concious of that and work to keep rebuilding and strengthening the bonds that marriage is.

Happily married to my best friend and soulmate for going on 7 years now. We've been to mat and gotten back up more times than I care to count but we're still together and better than we've ever been.

 

[nachoqtpie]

Well... as a 32 year old twice married woman.... I can honestly say that I def did not have the best role model of what a mariage was supposed tol be when I was growing up. My mom had been married once before she married my dad, I don't ever remember my dad from my young life, but did get to see him again once I was in school and mom was married again (and so was he). Mom stayed married to her 3rd husband for 13 years and then left him. Sh met my current step dad on the inernet. Lol They have been married for I think 7 years now.

My first husband and I got married after 3 months of dating hecause I was pregnant. Oiy ve! That as a disaster! We only stayed married for 5 years because he was never home. But that man completely broke me. For the longest time I couldn't bring myself to even be NICE to a man.. much less date and be good to a man. Lol

Hubs and I have our issues... and we fight over stupid little stuff, but, at the end of the day, we know we still love each other.

 

[The Mama Chicken]

I'll chime in on this one. I'm 34 and have been married for 15 years.
1-My mother in law is a little nutty, but we get along just fine, since my whole family is pretty crazy too.
2-My husband is not perfect, but he's perfect for me, which I try to remember when he annoys the crap out of me.
3-This is true in my house, I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, gardening, animal care, mending, etc... If I'm feeling upset, well, things slip and it effects everyone else. If hubby is upset, he gets snappy with us and the kids head off to play outside, but the household keeps running as usual.
4-I never bring up stuff from the past during arguments, because I don't want my past thrown in my face. I remember all of the stupid things I've done over the years, I don't need a reminder.

 

[Detlor Poultry]

I'll chime in on this one. I'm 34 and have been married for 15 years.
1-My mother in law is a little nutty, but we get along just fine, since my whole family is pretty crazy too.
2-My husband is not perfect, but he's perfect for me, which I try to remember when he annoys the crap out of me.
3-This is true in my house, I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, gardening, animal care, mending, etc... If I'm feeling upset, well, things slip and it effects everyone else. If hubby is upset, he gets snappy with us and the kids head off to play outside, but the household keeps running as usual.
4-I never bring up stuff from the past during arguments, because I don't want my past thrown in my face. I remember all of the stupid things I've done over the years, I don't need a reminder.

Nonono, I personally (though I HATE it) think that middle aged women ttansform into their MILs for three reasons:
1 - for revenge, because it is fun to be that much of a grouse
2 - to fill a niche since the old MIL is probably a grandmotherly figure now, and
3 - due to a midlife crysis thing


Good theory, huh?

 

[peteyfoozer]

Yes, I agree. This may make me unpopular with the female contingent, but women can be shallow and petty too. And have memories like an elephant.

I think selfishness on both sides of the gender equation is what is the root of most problems.

Precisely why I spend most of my time with animals. Women, as a whole, scare me so bad, I won't even look in a mirror!

Also, I love my MIL.
I wish more young women would understand that the mother of a son, usually LOSES her son, where as the mother of a daughter, usually gains a son. Usually, when it comes to holidays, babysitting and get togethers, the the wife's family usually gets priority.
Also, the hostility some women nurture against their MIL's is hurtful to their husband too, as that is also his family.

I had the sons...We love them all and are greatful for whatever time we get to have with them.

We have one DIL that cut our entire family off from my oldest son and haven't seen him for 8 years. Our other DIL is an amazing, and wonderful girl.