Sins Of The Father

[Nyboy]

10 years ago I live though a close friend destroying their life with Crystal meth. I will never forget the phone call he was found OD. Today one of his family members just called me to tell his 26 year old son OD. The wake is at the same funeral home , I don't know if same drug. I do not want to go and relive that time again. Part of me feels I have to go.

 

[seedcorn]

Will you know anyone there? Especially anyone that your presence would be a comfort? If not, why go?

 

[so lucky]

This advice is coming from a person who has often shirked the responsibility of going to funerals, but I have to say: As much as you don't want to relive that awful time, someone there will be so touched that you came. And you will feel better for it.

 

[sumi]

 

[Ridgerunner]

We all handle funerals differently. How will you feel if you go? How will you feel if you don't go? Do you need to go for some type of closure?

I still regret not going to a friend's funeral over 30 years ago. He died of brain cancer and left a great wife and two little kids. It was in Calgary and I made the dumb decision to not go. But your situation is totally different from mine. This kind of stuff is about as personal as it gets.

 

[aftermidnight]

@Nyboy , I'm one who doesn't go to funerals, even for close friends. I like to be there for the ones left behind in the weeks and months to come when everyone else has gone back to their lives. This is when a friend is needed the most, to spend some time with them or just have someone to talk to, let them know you care. Losing a loved one is hard no matter what the cause, at the time everyone is numb or in a daze, it's later the emptiness sets in. I like to remember the good times, not the sad.

Neither DH or I want funerals, just our ashes scattered in the place we have chosen our spirits set free, in hopes we have left a few happy memories shared along the way.

Annette

 

[seedcorn]

I want no funeral. Whenever convenient, have a party, tell tall tales about me. Make the kids laugh at the stupid things I did or said.

Visitation and funerals are to help the living. I've been to too many where they are wore out trying to be polite. Some use them to visit among themselves to catch up.

 

[thistlebloom]

I agree with Seed. Funerals are for the living.
If I put myself in the position of a grieving family member and very few people came to my loved ones service I think that would add another layer of sadness, that they meant nothing to some people.

I want no funeral. Whenever convenient, have a party, tell tall tales about me. Make the kids laugh at the stupid things I did or said.

I like the idea of a get together instead of a funeral too. If they need material for stupid stuff (I said) they can come mine TEG. Haha.

 

[dickiebird]

I personally want an expensive funeral so that the last check I ever wright is to the funeral home, and it bounces!!!

THANX RICH

 

[seedcorn]

@thistlebloom Get if no one shows up that it does add another layer. It is a new reality as families become smaller, families spread over the world for work, as people out live others, move, etc, funerals will be smaller.