You Say/ He Hears

[catjac1975]

My cell phone rings. It's DH calling me.

DH-"I can't find my cell phone ANYWHERE!"
Me-"Did you look in your desk?"
DH-"I'm out here in my truck, I had it in my hand when I locked up and now I can't find it anywhere."
Me-"Maybe it slid between the seats, it might be under the seat."
DH-(shouting, upset, frustrated, getting angry) "I've looked all in my truck! (noises of truck being searched) "I just had it! I can't figure out what happened to it!" (More words, most of which are unprintable on a family friendly forum)
Me-"Maybe you dropped it after you locked up and it is laying in the dirt somewhere." (barely suppressing a giggle)
DH-"OK, I'll go back and look for it, bye." Click.
(few seconds pass)
My cell phone rings. I answer.
DH-"You #%&$$ You KNEW I was talking on my cell phone the WHOLE TIME!!" Click.

THIS TAKES THE CAKE!

 

[digitS']

You'll be fine with the hearing aids for the first 30 years, @Ridgerunner . That is, if my experience is relevant.

A Conversation between a man trying to be helpful and his wife:

Does this bag go with you?

I don't know why it is always so cold there. It's like they never turn off the air conditioning. I'm taking a sweater.

So, there's a sweater in the bag?

No. I'm putting it on before we go.

Does this bag go with you?

Yes! Let's go.

(In the truck and turning onto the arterial.) Okay. I need those sunglasses. This sun is terrible.

They're right here on the seat beside you! (She picks up 2 hats, a scarf, a short blanket and her purse from the seat to uncover the glasses.) Right here! Do you want one of these cookies?

No! I've gotta get these glasses on -- that sun is murdering me!

Well! Is this what you call "pulling over?" If I'd have done that you would have had a cow! Are we late? And, where'd you put my bag??

Steve

 

[Smart Red]

Some silly stuff -- some pretty interesting for a person dealing with a hearing impaired spouse. "WE" finally got hearing aids. Spouse insists they don't make a difference. I smile and say he's wearing them for me not for him. At least he is really giving the aids a try. I put them on every morning (on him, of course) so he is wearing them. I also check from time to time that the batteries are still working. I found one that was dead and he never noticed, or at least never said anything to me.

Part of the aid problem right now is that his brain hasn't heard words well for so long that he's still asking "What?" all the time as the hearing pathways are being repaired. He also tends to hear best when I'm speaking face to face. Of course, that's something I have to learn to do. In the past, his hearing was on par with the dog's -- hearing every time the refrigerator door was opened from any room in the house.

 

[Just-Moxie]

oh dear......DH likes to talk to me...while he is walking AWAY from me...with a cigarette in his mouth ..in a low tone of voice.

 

[Jeni Ann]

Hubby & I both have a bit of hearing loss, so conversations have become interesting. One evening he came in the house and announced "I'm Daniel Boone." ... or ... "It's gonna rain soon."

 

[so lucky]

Oh gosh, you all are making me laugh...and sigh....I have some hearing loss, and so does DH. I think it takes more time for a person's brain to engage when they get older. When DH says something to me out of the blue, I don't get the first two or three words. It's the same for him. I think if we got in the habit of clearing our throat, or going "Ya know...." before actually saying something, that would prevent a lot of "Huh?"s.
Also, he talks to me when I have the water running, or when my head is in the fridge, or when he's walking away.
But I'm the one who talks to the TV or to myself just under his hearing range. (guilty!)

I have mentioned before that my mom used to cover her mouth or turn her head away when she was talking to me, effectively preventing my dad from reading her lips. It wasn't even anything that he shouldn't be hearing. I never figured out why she did that, unless it was an unconscious control behavior. She felt powerless for a lot of her life.

 

[897tgigvib]

Hay Bay,

I'm on your DH's side on this one.

Wimin don't understand that us menfolk get ringing in our ears when we get, uh, orbits around the sun.

Anmazing what things can sound like with the ringing...

"Is today Thursday?"

"Naw I'm not thirsty."

"Ok, I guess it's Friday."

"Oh boy! Whatcha frying today?"

"I only fry on Thursdays!"

"Ya don't gotta shout. I'll get you some water."

 

[so lucky]

Yeah, the tinitis gets in the way. I have swooshing, drum beating, actual painful changing-altitude-in-a-plane kinds of sounds--sometimes---like the same times every day. When that goes away and all I hear is crickets, it sounds so nice.
"Lipoflavinoids" works to some extent, but it is expensive, and makes my ears itch. No kidding.

 

[curly_kate]

@so lucky - that sounds totally like me & DH! Both of us have a tendency for non sequiter-comments, which makes it even more puzzling.

 

[AMKuska]

My cell phone rings. It's DH calling me.

DH-"I can't find my cell phone ANYWHERE!"
Me-"Did you look in your desk?"
DH-"I'm out here in my truck, I had it in my hand when I locked up and now I can't find it anywhere."
Me-"Maybe it slid between the seats, it might be under the seat."
DH-(shouting, upset, frustrated, getting angry) "I've looked all in my truck! (noises of truck being searched) "I just had it! I can't figure out what happened to it!" (More words, most of which are unprintable on a family friendly forum)
Me-"Maybe you dropped it after you locked up and it is laying in the dirt somewhere." (barely suppressing a giggle)
DH-"OK, I'll go back and look for it, bye." Click.
(few seconds pass)
My cell phone rings. I answer.
DH-"You #%&$$ You KNEW I was talking on my cell phone the WHOLE TIME!!" Click.

That's hilarious! My husband very rarely loses things, but one time a year or so ago he lost his belt. He looked EVERYWHERE for it and asked me to look too.

I noticed he was wearing a belt and tugged on it. "Is this the belt?" I asked.

He said no that's not it and kept looking. I shrugged and walked away. 10 minutes later he suddenly looked down and realized he was wearing a belt. >.<