Buford T. Justice Baymule’s LGD

[baymule]

Buford got another truck lesson today. I had DOG TREATS in my pocket. Not just any ol’ dog treat, but dog treats from Chuck Norris.

I walked him to the truck, opened the door and patted the floor. Buford walked to the end of the leash, looking towards the front field where Sheba is. Obviously Sheba is vastly more attractive than the truck. But Buford, I have TREATS! And you will get one when you get in the truck!! It’s YUMMY!

Finally I coaxed Buford to put front feet up in the truck, then back feet and he was in! Of course he immediately wanted back out, but I blocked his way, talking sweetly to him and offered the super duper tantalizing CHUCK NORRIS TREAT. Ummmm…… nope. Buford politely sniffed it and politely rejected it.

What a let down! Putting my hurt feelings aside, I heaped praises on Buford, made him stay a few minutes then let him hop out. More praises. I could make one heck of a motivational speaker!

I walked him back to the middle field, had him sit, wait, then I unclipped the leash and offered the treat again. Polite, disinterested sniff or two. Clearly this bait is not working. I put it on the ground, more sniffing and finally he ate it. I’m gonna call that a victory.

Now about the Chuck Norris treats….. and dog food too! I’m gonna tell y’all right now, never be crying over a dog and get on the internet. I was grieving over the death of Sentry, was on FB mindlessly scrolling through dumb stuff, crying. A Chuck Norris infomercial popped up. Hey it’s Chuck Norris, I clicked on it. He described the pitiful state of dog food, dogs getting sickly and cancer, dying before their lifespan was up. So he did research, to keep his own dogs in good health. In glowing terms he described all the wholesome ingredients in this magic wonder food until I could have ate a bowl of it myself.

Then dismay…..the price was ridiculous. I should have stopped right then! But no! He even was considerate enough to acknowledge that it was expensive and maybe people couldn’t afford to feed it to their dogs. Ya’ think? But they could afford to sprinkle some over their dogs food to give them the benefits of this healthy balanced nutritional save-your-dog’s-life wonder food.

If you buy 3 bags, the price drops to THIS! Click here! I did. But wait, if you buy 6 bags, we will lower the price even more to THIS PRICE! WOW! What a deal! This is starting to be a tiny teeny bit less totally unaffordable! And the deals rolled on. Then he added in dog treats. His own, shiny, happy, glowing picture of perfect health, begged for the treats! Buy this many and the price drops to THIS! Click. We have a special offer for THIS MANY! Click.

I didn’t know how much I was spending or how many of what I bought as I clicked my tears away! I vaguely remember the price as I entered my credit card number and shipping information. The box arrived. A freaking big box full of packets of miraculous tidbits of astonishing health.

Today I tried the treats on Buford. I think he ate it because I expected him to. It was like offering a child mustard greens with a piece of boiled bacon in the pile. I need to find that damned advertisement and make Buford watch it!

Then the credit card bill arrived. Or rather it didn’t, lost somewhere in Post Office Land of the Lost Forever. I got a text telling me that I needed to make a payment of an astronomical sum. I called to make the payment and to find out just what in the world I spent that much money on, prepared to insist I’ve NEVER been to BROADWAY in New York and did not buy tickets to see Sadness in Vomitville! I politely asked the lady with a very strong accent in some far off country if she could read off what I purchased since the bill never showed up and it’s probably hanging out with the electric bill that never got here either. She started reading it off and I got a glimmer of my own stupidity and thanked her for reminding me. I paid it and got off the phone.

Buford my boy, I got news for you. Chuck Norris himself said this is good for you. Have a plate of mustard greens!

 

[AMKuska]

Yikes, sorry to hear about that. I imagine you'll want to go through all the miracle Chuck Norris food first, but after that some good anti-cancer supplements for dogs:
Turkey Tails ($20 for a jar that will last you forever.)
Turmeric (The regular kind you get from the grocery store, hide it in some gravy or something.)
Avoiding any dog food that lists "animal" "meat and bone" etc. instead of sourcing a specific animal. The reason being is that it is often made from euthanized animals, exposing your pup to a small dose of euthanized animal each time.

 

[ducks4you]

I am going to believe that you are NOT going to poison your dogs!!
@AMKuska , point noted.
I say, Keep trying to get Buford in that truck!!
At least he is easier to train to the truck than a horse afraid of loading in the trailer!!
That's bc down deep he Wants to please you. The "love of the truck" comes later.

 

[baymule]

I’ll be taking him to Houston after the first of the year for OFA X-rays. It will be a 2-3 hour trip, depending on what side of Houston this clinic is on. So I’ll be taking him on short trips and working with him riding in the truck.

 

[Shades-of-Oregon]

I am going to believe that you are NOT going to poison your dogs!!
@AMKuska , point noted.
I say, Keep trying to get Buford in that truck!!
At least he is easier to train to the truck than a horse afraid of loading in the trailer!!
That's bc down deep he Wants to please you. The "love of the truck" comes later.

How true is that statement , dogs are much easier to train than horses. I mean ya just can’t push or lift a horse in a trailer.

@baymule What a tale of dog food do’s and don’ts …. It a jungle out there - online - when it comes to buying any food animal or human. I’ve always had to pay with credit card first before any purchase was complete and receipt is placed along with order date and delivery date. I then take a screen shot of the order for my records. Never received any order unless paid for first. Kind of an odd thing…if I understand correctly, you didn't pay for the order before you received the big box of goodies . Such trickery to get consumers to buy more …click here for more details, click there for additional savings… Buford is a lucky dog.

Now I’m curious and I need to check out the dog food using specific popular actors for sales. I have noticed that several popular actors are a bit more ‘mature’ , showing up in advertisements for all kinds of stuff from A-Z. Yikes that’s a red flag right there… ? Who’s let those marketing guys loose anyway? Is the quality as good as advertised? Buford didn’t seem to think so. Still did’t get him in the truck. I trust my dogs opinion. If I buy dog food and they didn’t eat it then I throw it out. It’s not worth the risk with recalls seemingly a monthly thing. It didn’t pass the sniff test. I trust my dogs taste buds. Of course that’s just me. It’s not every day a dog will not eat a snack especially if it doesn’t pass the sniff test. A clue …? I hope I understand this story correctly…Of course my cup of coffee hasn’t ‘clicked’ in yet either.

My dogs diet consist of canned and dry , ‘Siience Diet’. Lot’s of good quality snacks . TID bits for training and milk bones.
Poor Buford a dog that was not tempted by a doggie treat …mmm … maybe try bits of a hot dog , Cheese? Maybe need to video Buford’s turning up his nose to his spectacular reaction and send it to the product complaint department. Is there such a thing? It might end up in China somewhere ! Who knows… but it’s quite an elaborate plot line combined with the reality of the situation and so well executed by a dog and his master.

Once in the truck Buford gets lots of hugs . Means more to him than anything. Sending lots of hugs to Buford. He’s such a handsome guy.
Enjoyed your story. You have a way with words…

 

[Crealcritter]

I was thinking about BTJ and how i hadn't heard about the ole boy for a while, then this thread pops up. I'm not sure about Chuck Norris dog treats. But tank gets three pieces of non-storebought cooked hamburger most every day.

My hunting dog baxter passed about 10 weeks after I got tank. I have him burried out back under his favorite shade tree. Dogs sure have a way of getting into your heart. I miss baxter sometimes. But he's not far, just a short walk away.

Jesus is Lord and Christ

 

[flowerbug]

when the words chuck and dog food are combined in my mind Chuck Wagon pops up. old brand of dog food perhaps? might still be around. or is it people food? i do remember those cans of wet dog food we used to get for special treats for the dogs we had. i was never brave enough to try it myself. it smelled sort of ok, pretty much like beef strew (stew)...

 

[Shades-of-Oregon]

II remember that Chuck Wagon brand . I looked it up curious about what happened to it , here’s what I found besides approved by the …
Chuck Wagon joins K-VA-T's “legacy” brands, regional favorites that were discontinued and then reintroduced by K-VA-T as a private brand. K-VA-T registers the brands with the Federal Trade Commission, reformulates them when necessary and then keeps them as its own.

 

[baymule]

@Shades-of-Oregon yes I paid at time of purchase, with a credit card. By the time the bill didn’t show up and I got that reminder text, I forgot all about it. LOL

Anatolians are not treat motivated as a general rule. A hunk of boiled chicken would get his attention but would make a mess in my pocket.

 

[AMKuska]

I am going to believe that you are NOT going to poison your dogs!!

For clarity's sake, I don't think @baymule is poisoning her dogs! I read a newspaper clipping once talking about what the rendering plants that make 'animal fat" etc. do and it had a picture of barrels with dog-paws sticking out of them, getting ready to go in for rendering.

Combined with that and how often it's found in those products, its made me really suspicious of unsourced animal products. Here's an FDA list of foods (looks like beef meal had some too!) that contained pentobarbital in one go-round of it hitting the news. It hits the news every few years.

@Shades-of-Oregon yes I paid at time of purchase, with a credit card. By the time the bill didn’t show up and I got that reminder text, I forgot all about it. LOL

Anatolians are not treat motivated as a general rule. A hunk of boiled chicken would get his attention but would make a mess in my pocket.

He has good taste!