Dad Threw Roommate Out Last Night.
- Thread starter Nyboy
- Start date
baymule
Garden Master
Zeedman
Garden Master
I too had a few spankings growing up... most of which I deserved. Don't think I turned out badly, though not for my lack of trying. 
Rebellious children sometimes need to be taught that there are limits, and consequences - especially if they are doing something dangerous (as I was). My children had a few spankings of their own, when they talked back or knowingly did something seriously wrong; but I made a point of never doing so while showing anger. We'd have a long hug & a long talk afterward, so they would understand that they were still loved. They too turned out pretty well; and now that they have children of their own, have told me "now I understand why, Dad".
When adults are punished for disregarding limits (laws), the consequences can be harsh. Better to learn respect for rules when young; by non-corporeal means whenever possible, but by spankings when necessary. I know that there are plenty who would disagree, but I've seen the results of children who were not taught that lesson - they make poor adults, if you can even call them that. I think the room mate in question is probably one of those.
Rebellious children sometimes need to be taught that there are limits, and consequences - especially if they are doing something dangerous (as I was). My children had a few spankings of their own, when they talked back or knowingly did something seriously wrong; but I made a point of never doing so while showing anger. We'd have a long hug & a long talk afterward, so they would understand that they were still loved. They too turned out pretty well; and now that they have children of their own, have told me "now I understand why, Dad".When adults are punished for disregarding limits (laws), the consequences can be harsh. Better to learn respect for rules when young; by non-corporeal means whenever possible, but by spankings when necessary. I know that there are plenty who would disagree, but I've seen the results of children who were not taught that lesson - they make poor adults, if you can even call them that. I think the room mate in question is probably one of those.
Gardening with Rabbits
Garden Master
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2012
- Messages
- 3,579
- Reaction score
- 5,904
- Points
- 337
- Location
- Northern Idaho - Zone 5B
Gardening with Rabbits
Garden Master
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2012
- Messages
- 3,579
- Reaction score
- 5,904
- Points
- 337
- Location
- Northern Idaho - Zone 5B
My mom and dad both had to go get their own switch off a tree. He only spanked DB and me with his hand and we cried like babies, but we were not hurt.
- Thread starter
- #36
Nyboy
Garden Master
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2010
- Messages
- 21,365
- Reaction score
- 16,249
- Points
- 437
I once and only once cursed at my mother. She dragged me by my hair to the sink where she washed my mouth with soap. The worst part of that punishment would be days following when she told everyone. I would turn red when she would start to tell a friend how I cursed at her. Today that would be jail time.
- Thread starter
- #37
Nyboy
Garden Master
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2010
- Messages
- 21,365
- Reaction score
- 16,249
- Points
- 437
A couple of years ago a mother could not take her daughters fighting in the back seat of car. She pulled over in down town White Plains, put her daughters out of the car and said walk 4 blocks home. As the mom drove off the girls started crying, a small group of people stopped to help and called the police. The mother was arrested and got death threats, she was like the most hated woman in NY.
aftermidnight
Garden Addicted
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2014
- Messages
- 2,182
- Reaction score
- 4,026
- Points
- 297
- Location
- Vancouver Island B.C. Canada
@Nyboy First question, how old were the girls, second question, was the area they were let out safe? The world today is not the safe place it was when I was growing up, heck we use to take a sandwich and disappear for the whole day, arriving home in time for supper, or maybe not 
. We were definitely home before it got dark.
When I was10 my friends and I would take a lunch and head for the beach for the day it was 5 miles away, if I remember correctly took us about 2 1/2 hours, parents didn't give it a second thought. When I was 4 I went to a prekindergarten school across town, my dad dropped me off but I took a bus home all by myself, mind you the bus driver on that route most days was a friend of the family.
Unfortunately the world is not a safe place anymore, parents that care and keep a close eye on their kids still worry until their kids are safely back home. You should know where your kids are at all times, and yes check up on them to see if they are where they said they would be, the older they get the sneakier they can be but, always let your kids know you will be checking up on them, yes there will be some resentment but if they're warned ahead of time there's less chance they'll try something.
Ask me how I know this, our kids didn't have a chance, we knew exactly what they were trying to get away with, been there done that, they never did figure that one out. Also stay united if one parents says no even if you don't agree with it stand firmly together, Talk about it later but not in front of the kids.
Our daughter found this out the hard way when I said no and then had to go out to a PTA meeting, she asked her father and he said yes, she was very embarrassed when her father arrived at her friends house and read her the riot act, she never tried that again.
I'm sure glad I'm not raising kids today, so much can go wrong in a blink of the eye, Kudos to those who are doing it, I really don't think I could do it and stay sane.
Annette
. We were definitely home before it got dark.When I was10 my friends and I would take a lunch and head for the beach for the day it was 5 miles away, if I remember correctly took us about 2 1/2 hours, parents didn't give it a second thought. When I was 4 I went to a prekindergarten school across town, my dad dropped me off but I took a bus home all by myself, mind you the bus driver on that route most days was a friend of the family
.Unfortunately the world is not a safe place anymore, parents that care and keep a close eye on their kids still worry until their kids are safely back home. You should know where your kids are at all times, and yes check up on them to see if they are where they said they would be, the older they get the sneakier they can be but, always let your kids know you will be checking up on them, yes there will be some resentment but if they're warned ahead of time there's less chance they'll try something.
Ask me how I know this, our kids didn't have a chance, we knew exactly what they were trying to get away with, been there done that
, they never did figure that one out. Also stay united if one parents says no even if you don't agree with it stand firmly together, Talk about it later but not in front of the kids.Our daughter found this out the hard way when I said no and then had to go out to a PTA meeting, she asked her father and he said yes, she was very embarrassed when her father arrived at her friends house and read her the riot act, she never tried that again.
I'm sure glad I'm not raising kids today, so much can go wrong in a blink of the eye, Kudos to those who are doing it, I really don't think I could do it and stay sane.
Annette
- Thread starter
- #39
Nyboy
Garden Master
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2010
- Messages
- 21,365
- Reaction score
- 16,249
- Points
- 437
10 and 12 is any city safe ? http://abovethelaw.com/2009/04/mommy-lawyer-of-the-day-kaye-scholer-partner-leaves-bickering-kids/
Beekissed
Garden Master
Y'all would probably think I was the meanest thing coming and going. Spankings are necessary. Period. If you love your child, discipline has to happen. Whenever I hear about someone who never gave their child a spanking, I know there goes a child whose parents put their own feelings in front of the well being and character of their own children. In other words, they loved themselves too much to do the hard work of parenting in the way it should be done.
People often get it confused that beatings are discipline and that spankings are beatings. Beatings are punishment...there's no place for that in raising a child. Spankings are discipline and it's not a big person hitting a small person for the fun of it all or to bully them or because they are angry...if you are spanking while angry, you are doing it wrong. It's a negative reinforcement just like all the other~ less effectual~ negative reinforcements such as time outs, groundings, sending one to their room, etc. Some things call for a time out, some things call for a spanking. Simple as that.
Nothing more, nothing less. No need to demonize it like it's something horrible or mean, it's actually love in its purest form. Nothing hurts a parent more than having to inflict temporary physical pain on their own child to affect a positive outcome....except maybe seeing their child grow up to hurt themselves and others simply because their parents didn't do their job while they were young enough to shape their character.
People often get it confused that beatings are discipline and that spankings are beatings. Beatings are punishment...there's no place for that in raising a child. Spankings are discipline and it's not a big person hitting a small person for the fun of it all or to bully them or because they are angry...if you are spanking while angry, you are doing it wrong. It's a negative reinforcement just like all the other~ less effectual~ negative reinforcements such as time outs, groundings, sending one to their room, etc. Some things call for a time out, some things call for a spanking. Simple as that.
Nothing more, nothing less. No need to demonize it like it's something horrible or mean, it's actually love in its purest form. Nothing hurts a parent more than having to inflict temporary physical pain on their own child to affect a positive outcome....except maybe seeing their child grow up to hurt themselves and others simply because their parents didn't do their job while they were young enough to shape their character.
