Garden humor thread..

[lcertuche]

That sounds like my randy roosters!

 

[Chickie'sMomaInNH]

more like my randy rabbit! i had no place to pen up a rooster so i put him in with my boy bunny. it was the rabbit chasing the tail of the roo! CC usually gets along with Wooly & no chasing or pecking but it's the time of the year & with an unfixed rabbit he's chasing any tail he can get!

 

[Ridgerunner]

How do you expect cookies to last if you only buy a couple of boxes at a time?

 

[Ridgerunner]

She - Can I ask your advice? I'm thinking about quitting Facebook. It's a waste of time and it distorts reality.
He - Sounds like you made the right decision.
She - Thank you, I knew you'd understand.
He - I wonder what Facebook is.

 

[Ridgerunner]

Reverend - I was hoping I wouldn't fine =you in the bar.
Don't worry Reverend, I won't tell anyone I saw you here.

All three taken from today's comics section.

 

[baymule]

At dawn the telephone rings.

"Hello, Señor Bob? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."


"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Señor Bob, that your parrot, he is dead."

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Si, Señor, that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Señor Bob."

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Señor. He eat the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Señor Bob ..."

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes, Señor Bob, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Señor."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about man?"

"The one at your house Señor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the hell? Are you saying that my country mansion is destroyed because of a candle?"
"Yes, Señor Bob."


"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Señor Bob ..."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??"

"Your wife, Señor Bob. She show up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft."

SILENCE...........

LONG SILENCE.........

VERY LONG SILENCE............

"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, your fired

 

[Pulsegleaner]

Would I be a killjoy for pointing out that parrots don't eat meat (well, keas do, but I doubt anyone would want to keep one of THEM as a pet, from what I understand they are SUPER aggressive.)

 

[canesisters]

..... killjoy

 

[Nyboy]

My parrots love chicken, I only give them small amounts.

 

[thistlebloom]

My chickens would love your parrots.