Garden humor thread..
- Thread starter desertlady
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thistlebloom
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haha! @canesisters ! You find the funniest funnies!
Smart Red
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@digitS', your DD needs a reason to boycott Black Friday? Not me! I don't do Black Friday just because. Because I avoid crowds. Because I don't like standing in lines. Because the day brings out some of the worst behaviors of this blessed season. Just because.
digitS'
Garden Master
But, @Smart Red , she's on Facebook.
If social media is good for things, she's a little ticked ...
Yeehaw!
Steve
If social media is good for things, she's a little ticked ...
Yeehaw!
Steve
Chickie'sMomaInNH
Garden Master
my Black Friday started with taking my car for it's annual inspection & an oil change. got a deal on the inspection-didn't have to get anything repaired and it only cost $20! went to pick it up and then headed down the road to the 2 pet stores along the way. got a new catfish, new Betta, some plants for the tanks, some hay for the rabbit at 1/2 off, and a treat for the dog. headed back towards home and then down the hill to the feed store for their sale. stocked up on feed for the chickens and got a toy for the dog. toy didn't last more than 2 hours and the stuffing was ripped out and the noise maker not working anymore either. 
came home and had lunch with dh and chilled out by the fireplace for a few hours. we took off again around 7pm to go to Tractor Supply and get their $12.99/40lb bag of sunflower seeds. ended up getting 3 new t-shirts for $5 each. a new flannel shirt for dh, and a heated water dish for the chickens. then to Wally World and got a new thermometer/timer along with new Xmas lights for the coop.
no rushing for us to get the best deals or trampled in crowds. i figure it will all be marked down after the holidays are over. at least the few places i go to the sales go all day and they don't limit what is kept in stock to 5!
thanks for the laughs Cane! i worked in the mall for many years and i still don't like stepping into them for shopping this time of year.
too scary with all those grumpy people.
came home and had lunch with dh and chilled out by the fireplace for a few hours. we took off again around 7pm to go to Tractor Supply and get their $12.99/40lb bag of sunflower seeds. ended up getting 3 new t-shirts for $5 each. a new flannel shirt for dh, and a heated water dish for the chickens. then to Wally World and got a new thermometer/timer along with new Xmas lights for the coop.
no rushing for us to get the best deals or trampled in crowds. i figure it will all be marked down after the holidays are over. at least the few places i go to the sales go all day and they don't limit what is kept in stock to 5!
thanks for the laughs Cane! i worked in the mall for many years and i still don't like stepping into them for shopping this time of year.
too scary with all those grumpy people.
Pulsegleaner
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My Black Friday
Left home around 11:45 on four stop trip
1. Local Stamp and Coin show (they have one every Thanksgiving weekend). Pickings a bit more meagre than the last one due to 2 things. I the last one was the opening show for the season (which means my favorite dealers have had 6 or so months to accumulate new material of interest) and 2. I forgot "Mr. Chazerai"* (the main person I buy stamps from at the shows) doesn't do this one. Net total, 2 "coin" notgeld . 1 feudal Japanese 4 mon piece (basically bought on the off chance its from a different mint than the one I have; next show I'll have to remember to take scans of what I already possess) a 1913 British 1/3 farthing (that's 1/12 of a penny) three "covers" (envelopes with stamps) from one of the other dealers (mostly to stay in his good graces, to be honest). and an old stock certificate, which I'll probably frame.
2. H-mart. They still haven't restocked the rice beans I like to hunt through, but at least I managed to pick up a few heirloom tomatoes for the week (they are of course, no patch on fresh stuff I grow myself or can buy at the farmers markets over the summer; , but usually, ANY heirloom tomato, even a hothouse one, is a damn sight better over the winter than a tasteless wad of "standard" tomato. And at least H-mart seems to get theirs from somewhere that can grow a passable one (as opposed to a few of the companies that supply the local supermarkets, who have somehow managed to create tomatoes that look like heirlooms, but taste WORSE than "standard".
3. Post office (to mail my credit card payment)
4. Quick takeout lunch from a local Italian place (Caesar salad and Shrimp Parm wedge) Ok I guess, but I'd probably have been happier if I'd gone with my first impulse and ordered the pizza (the place switches menus seasonally, at that the moment they have a buffalo mozzarella and pesto pizza that's really well made.
Then home, and basically napped through the afternoon.
*(Yes, that is the name he chose for his business, I'm not trying to be anti-Semitic, or down on fellow members of my culture).
Left home around 11:45 on four stop trip
1. Local Stamp and Coin show (they have one every Thanksgiving weekend). Pickings a bit more meagre than the last one due to 2 things. I the last one was the opening show for the season (which means my favorite dealers have had 6 or so months to accumulate new material of interest) and 2. I forgot "Mr. Chazerai"* (the main person I buy stamps from at the shows) doesn't do this one. Net total, 2 "coin" notgeld . 1 feudal Japanese 4 mon piece (basically bought on the off chance its from a different mint than the one I have; next show I'll have to remember to take scans of what I already possess) a 1913 British 1/3 farthing (that's 1/12 of a penny) three "covers" (envelopes with stamps) from one of the other dealers (mostly to stay in his good graces, to be honest). and an old stock certificate, which I'll probably frame.
2. H-mart. They still haven't restocked the rice beans I like to hunt through, but at least I managed to pick up a few heirloom tomatoes for the week (they are of course, no patch on fresh stuff I grow myself or can buy at the farmers markets over the summer; , but usually, ANY heirloom tomato, even a hothouse one, is a damn sight better over the winter than a tasteless wad of "standard" tomato. And at least H-mart seems to get theirs from somewhere that can grow a passable one (as opposed to a few of the companies that supply the local supermarkets, who have somehow managed to create tomatoes that look like heirlooms, but taste WORSE than "standard".
3. Post office (to mail my credit card payment)
4. Quick takeout lunch from a local Italian place (Caesar salad and Shrimp Parm wedge) Ok I guess, but I'd probably have been happier if I'd gone with my first impulse and ordered the pizza (the place switches menus seasonally, at that the moment they have a buffalo mozzarella and pesto pizza that's really well made.
Then home, and basically napped through the afternoon.
*(Yes, that is the name he chose for his business, I'm not trying to be anti-Semitic, or down on fellow members of my culture).
AMKuska
Garden Master
My black friday:
Went to work. We don't do black friday deals so it was fairly normal. Got all my dogs photographed in the "Not Your Typical Santa" photo set. I'll post the pic when I get it. Came home, found my husband flustered, sad and frustrated because of his discus. Felt sorry for him. Took him to the pet store where we got some new discus at 30% off (black friday sale). It wasn't crowded, people were pleasant.
We also shut down one of the fish tanks, so now we have fewer running. saving electricity and water. Woot!
That's about it.
Oh, and I want picks of that betta!
Went to work. We don't do black friday deals so it was fairly normal. Got all my dogs photographed in the "Not Your Typical Santa" photo set. I'll post the pic when I get it.
Came home, found my husband flustered, sad and frustrated because of his discus. Felt sorry for him. Took him to the pet store where we got some new discus at 30% off (black friday sale). It wasn't crowded, people were pleasant.We also shut down one of the fish tanks, so now we have fewer running.
saving electricity and water. Woot!That's about it.
Oh, and I want picks of that betta!
Smart Red
Garden Master
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My Friday
DH wanted to go out to breakfast. We went out for breakfast. I eat bread and water through the week and splurge on Sundays with a strawberry waffle. Hurry, Sunday!
Returned home to feed the livestock, gather eggs, and do some laundry while I stopped in here. This internet is getting slower and slower. It is hard to justify spending so much time just waiting for pages to load. . .
DH wanted to go out for a coffee break. We went to Dunkin Donuts. Then I stopped for a rear blinker light, went to the hardware store for two corks and pumped gas. None of these stores were having Black Friday crowd activity. Then we stopped to see son and family. Made plans to drive them to daughter's Thanksgiving meal in Madison Saturday and plans to go back later to pick up Gypsy for a family skate session and sleep-over Friday night.
Made a non-turkey lunch. Couldn't have been much since I can't remember what it was. Cleaned up the kitchen, cleaned the inside fireplace doors with elbow grease, water, and baking soda. DH was impressed. My arms were sore.
I visited TEG for a while before dropping off for a 1.5 hour nap -- it's nearly unheard of for me to sleep during the day -- had half a turkey sandwich with some soup and went to pick up Gypsy for ice skating. We stopped for sweet and sour chicken -- she's been sick and hasn't felt like eating so I was happy to find something that tempted her.
Once home we watched Bones and a Forensic show before my daughter called to cancel Saturday's meal. One son and three basket ball games, one had to/got to work and her spouse had UW-game tickets for early afternoon. That makes for one easy Saturday for me with time to put that blinker bulb and corks to use. I left Gypsy on the cushy recliner and went to bed (about 8:30). Stands to reason I'd be back up at 1:00 a.m. killing time while waiting to feel like nodding off again.
DH wanted to go out to breakfast. We went out for breakfast. I eat bread and water through the week and splurge on Sundays with a strawberry waffle. Hurry, Sunday!
Returned home to feed the livestock, gather eggs, and do some laundry while I stopped in here. This internet is getting slower and slower. It is hard to justify spending so much time just waiting for pages to load. . .
DH wanted to go out for a coffee break. We went to Dunkin Donuts. Then I stopped for a rear blinker light, went to the hardware store for two corks and pumped gas. None of these stores were having Black Friday crowd activity. Then we stopped to see son and family. Made plans to drive them to daughter's Thanksgiving meal in Madison Saturday and plans to go back later to pick up Gypsy for a family skate session and sleep-over Friday night.
Made a non-turkey lunch. Couldn't have been much since I can't remember what it was. Cleaned up the kitchen, cleaned the inside fireplace doors with elbow grease, water, and baking soda. DH was impressed. My arms were sore.
I visited TEG for a while before dropping off for a 1.5 hour nap -- it's nearly unheard of for me to sleep during the day -- had half a turkey sandwich with some soup and went to pick up Gypsy for ice skating. We stopped for sweet and sour chicken -- she's been sick and hasn't felt like eating so I was happy to find something that tempted her.
Once home we watched Bones and a Forensic show before my daughter called to cancel Saturday's meal. One son and three basket ball games, one had to/got to work and her spouse had UW-game tickets for early afternoon. That makes for one easy Saturday for me with time to put that blinker bulb and corks to use. I left Gypsy on the cushy recliner and went to bed (about 8:30). Stands to reason I'd be back up at 1:00 a.m. killing time while waiting to feel like nodding off again.
Smart Red
Garden Master
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Er, did I just follow a pirate's lead and travel off topic? Nothing humorous or garden or thready about My Black Friday. Back to humor!
Gardening's Better Than Sex (taken from http://www.gardenersnet.com)
Here are the top reasons why gardening is better than sex:
#25 - Gardeners are not embarrassed explaining the birds and the bees to their kids.
#24 - If your regular gardening partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you garden with someone else.
#23 - It's absolutely acceptable to garden before you're married.
#22 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything against gardening.
#21 - You don't have to shower and shave before you garden.
#20 - You'll always be able to garden, no matter how old you are.
#19 - You'l never hear anyone say: "Is gardening all you ever think about?"
#18 - You don't have to hide your Garden magazines.
#17 - Telling gardening jokes, and invite co-workers to garden with you is not considered workplace harassment.
#16 - Email with garden content is not considered offensive material.
#15 - When you become famous, you don't have to worry about pictures and videotapes of you gardening being shown on the Internet.
#14 - Your gardening partner doesn't get upset about people you gardened with a long time ago.
#13 - It's perfectly respectable to enjoy gardening with a total stranger.
#12 - When you see a really good gardener, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you gardening together.
#11 - Every time you garden, you hope to produce fruit.
#10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you garden by yourself.
#9 - When dealing with a gardening pro, you never have to wonder if they're really an undercover cop.
#8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy garden related stuff.
#7 - You can have a gardening related calendar on your wall at the office.
#6 - There are no gardening-transmitted diseases.
#5 - No one objects if you watch the gardening channel on television.
#4 - Nobody expects you to garden with the same person your whole life.
#3 - Nobody expects you to give up gardening if your partner loses interest.
#2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favorite activity.
#1 - Your partner will never say, "Not again? We just gardened last week! "
Gardening's Better Than Sex (taken from http://www.gardenersnet.com)
Here are the top reasons why gardening is better than sex:
#25 - Gardeners are not embarrassed explaining the birds and the bees to their kids.
#24 - If your regular gardening partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you garden with someone else.
#23 - It's absolutely acceptable to garden before you're married.
#22 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything against gardening.
#21 - You don't have to shower and shave before you garden.
#20 - You'll always be able to garden, no matter how old you are.
#19 - You'l never hear anyone say: "Is gardening all you ever think about?"
#18 - You don't have to hide your Garden magazines.
#17 - Telling gardening jokes, and invite co-workers to garden with you is not considered workplace harassment.
#16 - Email with garden content is not considered offensive material.
#15 - When you become famous, you don't have to worry about pictures and videotapes of you gardening being shown on the Internet.
#14 - Your gardening partner doesn't get upset about people you gardened with a long time ago.
#13 - It's perfectly respectable to enjoy gardening with a total stranger.
#12 - When you see a really good gardener, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you gardening together.
#11 - Every time you garden, you hope to produce fruit.
#10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you garden by yourself.
#9 - When dealing with a gardening pro, you never have to wonder if they're really an undercover cop.
#8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy garden related stuff.
#7 - You can have a gardening related calendar on your wall at the office.
#6 - There are no gardening-transmitted diseases.
#5 - No one objects if you watch the gardening channel on television.
#4 - Nobody expects you to garden with the same person your whole life.
#3 - Nobody expects you to give up gardening if your partner loses interest.
#2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favorite activity.
#1 - Your partner will never say, "Not again? We just gardened last week! "
Carol Dee
Garden Master
I LOVE this! I am going to pass it on to my non-TEG friends to enjoy, too.
