Garden humor thread..

[flowerbug]

Not surprised you haven't found it. As I said, it is a VERY old joke, as in it dates from the 1800's (or maybe earlier). I only know it because Dover Books publishes (or did publish) a re-print of a 19th century joke and riddle book. (I think it was called 1000 Riddles, Enigmas and Conundrums).

Anyhow, the answer to "Why is a chicken pot pie like a gunsmith's shop?" is "Because they both have fowl-in-pieces." (fowling pieces are a kind of small gun used for bird hunting back then.)

Another one (the only other one I remember that wasn't a rebus, and hence unshowable here [since I can't draw])
was

"Why will a one winged chicken always fight with a two winged chicken?"

"Because there is a difference of a pinion between them."

haha!

 

[Pulsegleaner]

An old man dies and goes to Heaven, where he meets God.

The day after, God comes to him and says "are you hungry?"
The man says "Eh, I could eat"
So God opens a can of tuna, makes some tuna salad and they eat it.
While they are eating the man looks down and sees the people in Hell eating at an enormous feast buffet, with every kind of food imaginable.

The next day, God comes to him and says "are you hungry?"
The man says "Eh, I could eat"
So God opens a can of tuna, makes some tuna salad and they eat it.
While they are eating the man looks down and sees the people in Hell eating at an even MORE enormous feast buffet, with every kind of food imaginable.

The day after God comes to him and says "are you hungry"
The man says "Eh, I could eat"
So God opens a can of tuna, makes some tuna salad and they eat it.
While they are eating the man looks down and sees the people in Hell eating a feast that is even BIGGER than the one yesterday.

The man turns to God and says "Hey, what gives here? The people down in hell get these sumptuous feast and all we eat is tuna salad. This is Heaven after all, should WE be eating like that?"

God sighs and says. "I know, I know. But it just seems to be too much work to cook with only the two of us here."

 

[Marie2020]

View attachment 46957

How clever are you, I didn't know there was such a thing as a mind reader

 

[Cosmo spring garden]

 

[Pulsegleaner]

That reminds me of another (slightly politically incorrect) joke

A lawyer sees a drunk by the side of the road holding a sign saying "will do anything for $10"
The lawyer takes him to his house, gives him the $10, hands him some cans of paint, and says "Paint my porch." He then goes in to take a nap.
A couple of hours later, he hears a knock at the door. Opening it, he sees the drunk with a big smile on his face.
"Are you done already?" asks the lawyer
"All done" says the drunk "But that isn't a porch, it's a BMW."

 

[Carol Dee]

 

[Carol Dee]

 

[Zeedman]

View attachment 47286

Wow, that's like looking into a mirror! (tenderly caressing a large, beautiful bean... "My precious")

 

[Zeedman]

I just got back from a long walk, my first of the year; 40 F. degrees, sunny, and no wind. The Town had just laid 1.5 miles of new sidewalk last Fall, and I walked to the end & back. Apparently they had poured a section of sidewalk just before a hailstorm... and the pock marks were now set in stone. The hailarity of it all tickled my sole.

 

[Pulsegleaner]

I just got back from a long walk, my first of the year; 40 F. degrees, sunny, and no wind. The Town had just laid 1.5 miles of new sidewalk last Fall, and I walked to the end & back. Apparently they had poured a section of sidewalk just before a hailstorm... and the pock marks were now set in stone. The hailarity of it all tickled my sole.

In a nearby town to us called Mt. Kisco, there is (or maybe was, I can't remember if it is still in business) a Boston Market branch. This store has a floor made of what I THINK are terra cotta tiles (possibly left over from the place it was before, whatever that was). On some of these tiles, there are the imprints of the feet of various animals that must have walked on them when they were wet (chicken, dog, maybe human).

Of course the effect is rather spoiled by the fact that the tiles were placed randomly, so the tracks start on one tile, then show up on another some distance away, usually at a different angle.

I have also seen some restaurants (mostly in New York City) stick a coin in the wet cement of their stoops (or under the Formica of the bar), just to watch all the people tying to pick the coin up!