Carol Dee
Garden Master
Garden humor thread..
- Thread starter desertlady
- Start date
Smart Red
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Winston Churchill loved figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected.
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit . . . Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
Spread the Laughter
Share the Cheer
Let's Be Happy
While We're here!! From Wesley Jones on Paw Possum's Brierpatch
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit . . . Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
Spread the Laughter
Share the Cheer
Let's Be Happy
While We're here!! From Wesley Jones on Paw Possum's Brierpatch
valley ranch
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Some of thems is funny.
digitS'
Garden Master
I think I'm getting there!
Or, I'm getting where random teenagers want to say hello to me
-- just based on my walk into a park this morning; I didn't even walk all the way through the park.One, I'd glanced up at while I walked and before we passed. I've long thought that there is certainly a strong tendency for the youth to be solely focused on their peer group.
The other spoke to me as I lay on the grass ... of course, he might have wanted to know if I was dead.
Eat your heart out middle aged people! The kids and I are like this ... (holding up two arthritic fingers).
Steve
so lucky
Garden Master
Ya never know with teenagers. One day I was driving in town and a whole carload of teenage girls started waving and smiling at me, almost frantically. I couldn't figure out if they thought I was someone else (someone important), or were having fun thinking they were "confusing an old lady."
At least they didn't attack me and steal my purse.![:\](/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/side.png "side :\")
At least they didn't attack me and steal my purse.
Chickie'sMomaInNH
Garden Master
i think #11 is coming true. at least if you walked into a Wal-Mart after 9pm most nights you'll get to see some women that think their pajama pants with 'juicy' on the butt is sexy to someone. 
Carol Dee
Garden Master
LOLi think #11 is coming true. at least if you walked into a Wal-Mart after 9pm most nights you'll get to see some women that think their pajama pants with 'juicy' on the butt is sexy to someone.
