Math Question About Age

[so lucky]

From my parents, my high school graduation gift was a set of luggage. A not so subtle hint.
I did move back in with them once, for a few months, at one point of flux in my life.
In their later years, they begged me to consider moving back in with them. Eventually I managed to get a job where I could stop in every day on my lunch break, so they were happy. And I could run errands and such for them.

 

[Nyboy]

In Italian family you live at home till married.

 

[Smart Red]

I would have moved out of my parent's home earlier, but I refused to go that way until I was sure I wouldn't have to come (crawling) back. DS is doing most of the work in the basement with the knowledge that someday he's going to be living here anyway. We've spoken about his family moving here since DH needs so much care one person just can't do it continually.

Maverick even spoke about it this weekend. He said his mom isn't all that thrilled about leaving her big house, but she always knew moving 'home' was in Rob's plans and she is with him there. I need to make her feel that it is her house and DH and I are the overstaying relatives. Having them moving in is the only way I can see to manage keeping DH at home through his illness.

 

[baymule]

Red, I see that more and more these days. It is a good thing when families can live together and care together. My mom lived with us and I'll probably live with one of my kids some day. Or they with me.

There were several times when my mom required 24/7 care and it nearly did me in. I got no sleep, was afraid to even go in the back yard--my mom would go out the front. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Fortunately it got better or I would have not been able to keep it up. I hope your son and family doesn't wait to move in to help until you are at point of utter exhaustion. You need help, you can't do it all by yourself.

 

[Smart Red]

I have never had a problem with the thought of an extended family living together. I'd have taken my MIL in a New York minute if one of her daughters' hadn't done it. I am lucky to have a big enough space that everyone would fit easily and a son who would appreciate such a family gathering.

My only real concern would be if DH's Alzheimer-related behavior caused problems for the Grands. I don't doubt they would take things in stride with their usual empathy and consideration, but teens are sometimes unpredictable. With the basement fixed up I am hoping they will find a place for themselves and their friends to relax.

 

[Nyboy]

Teens can also be a great help, just spending time with their grandfather.

 

[so lucky]

Yes, I bet having teens around will help with his functioning. Will the basement have its own outside entrance?

 

[Smart Red]

The basement? No outside entrance, although, it is very close to the sun room entrance. The master bedroom, however, does have its own entrance, bathroom, and plenty of space for sitting and TV. It could almost be a separate 'apartment' if we added a fridge and microwave.

We can retire to our room if the family or DH get too tiring. I feel strongly that DIL will need to feel in control of "her" new home. I know we can get along, but I still want to provide privacy for DS and DIL as much as possible.

 

[Nyboy]

Red it is so great that your thinking of your DIL feelings.

 

[Smart Red]

Red it is so great that your thinking of your DIL feelings.

She has her problems, but I like her, DS loves her, and she is a good mother to my grandchildren. Being under the constant EYE of one's mother-in-law could be difficult -- consider small family arguments they might have from time to time -- and having the feeling that half the house is judging you and your position.

Financially, the plan would be a great asset for them. That is important, but only one part of integrated family life. I want to be an asset to their family as well as mine.