Somehow, It's Funny that Way

[digitS']

@baymule & @ducks4you returning on a feed run.

​

 

[Marie2020]

View attachment 57013

Funny but so true

 

[Pulsegleaner]

@baymule & @ducks4you returning on a feed run.

View attachment 57111​

Frequently (like today) one of my parents asks me why I insist on trying to take ALL of the bags of shopping we have in all by myself all at once. I always reply "practice" (literally, practice against the possible future day when my mom becomes like my grandma was; needing massive numbers of bulky things regularly while no longer being strong enough to carry any herself and no longer free enough from over-worry to leave alone any longer than strictly necessary.)

 

[baymule]

@baymule & @ducks4you returning on a feed run.

View attachment 57111​

That’s right!

 

[flowerbug]

Frequently (like today) one of my parents asks me why I insist on trying to take ALL of the bags of shopping we have in all by myself all at once. I always reply "practice" (literally, practice against the possible future day when my mom becomes like my grandma was; needing massive numbers of bulky things regularly while no longer being strong enough to carry any herself and no longer free enough from over-worry to leave alone any longer than strictly necessary.)

i am here to help, but that doesn't mean i have to be stupid about it.

when we go shopping together the deal is that i'll carry it all in and help Mom put it away but that it works best if she just stays out of the way until i get things carried in because i don't want moving targets or her being in the way, it just slows things down way too much. hang back a few moments please. zippitydoodah, and then it's done. then we can get on with putting things away and there's no risk she'll walk behind me when i'm turning around quick to get back out the door, etc...

when we shop usually there is both the trunk and the backseat full so it isn't a one-time trip up and down the garage door stairs or back out again (and then there's the damned useless bags which rip and drop things out of them all over the place and ...).

 

[Pulsegleaner]

i am here to help, but that doesn't mean i have to be stupid about it.

when we go shopping together the deal is that i'll carry it all in and help Mom put it away but that it works best if she just stays out of the way until i get things carried in because i don't want moving targets or her being in the way, it just slows things down way too much. hang back a few moments please. zippitydoodah, and then it's done. then we can get on with putting things away and there's no risk she'll walk behind me when i'm turning around quick to get back out the door, etc...

when we shop usually there is both the trunk and the backseat full so it isn't a one-time trip up and down the garage door stairs or back out again (and then there's the damned useless bags which rip and drop things out of them all over the place and ...).

Yeah, that's a problem for me as well. Once we get in, getting everything away becomes a nightmare. I CAN'T tell mom to hang back because she has to come in to check any messages on the answering machine (I'm not alowed to touch it before her, since she won't trust me to convey the messages accurately, nor is she good at playing them back AFTER the initial playback.) She'll TELL me to get my stuff and she'll take care of putting everything away, but then in doing so will basically block anywhere I need to go to get the things I need TO get out of the room (like the freezer so I can get some ice for my glass, or the sink so I can get water*.) No matter where I go, she always ends up needing to go to that exact spot at the exact same time, and doesn't bother to warn me. And if I was to simply clear out until she was done and then try and get my stuff, I can count on her either getting tense she can't immediately set the table for lunch after she's done putting things away, or being called in every five seconds for conformation of where I want given things I bought to be put (and likewise, I can't put everything away myself because she doesn't tell me where SHE wants things put (fridge or freezer, upstairs or downstairs, corner cabinet, pantry, countertop or storage table.)

*When we go out, it's pretty common for me to pick up lunch, so getting my water so I can go somewhere else and EAT IT is a pretty high priority.)

 

[flowerbug]

Yeah, that's a problem for me as well. Once we get in, getting everything away becomes a nightmare. I CAN'T tell mom to hang back because she has to come in to check any messages on the answering machine (I'm not alowed to touch it before her, since she won't trust me to convey the messages accurately, ...
*When we go out, it's pretty common for me to pick up lunch, so getting my water so I can go somewhere else and EAT IT is a pretty high priority.)

haha! yep, same sort of things here too. i think in many ways it is because we are so alike so we want to be in the same spaces at the same time.

my worst experience of this was when i was up on the counter helping clean up the stuff up on the shelves above the cabinets that needed dusting and when i was done i told Mom to not move and jumped down and she picked that time to move to right where i was jumping so in mid-air i had to twist to avoid her and landed on my chest on the wooden floor. i'm lucky i didn't break my neck but bruised ribs weren't much fun for a while after that.

now what i try to do is to really make sure that she won't move or i ask her to go someplace else entirely. it's a lot safer. also now we have a joke where i'll make beeping noises so she knows where i am at if i'm behind her and she's doing better at telling me she's behind me.

like you when we get back from going out there's usually take-out and i'm really hungry so i want to eat too and Mom is also hungry so we put away the frozen and cold stuff and then eat and then finish up putting away the rest of the things after that.

 

[Pulsegleaner]

haha! yep, same sort of things here too. i think in many ways it is because we are so alike so we want to be in the same spaces at the same time.

my worst experience of this was when i was up on the counter helping clean up the stuff up on the shelves above the cabinets that needed dusting and when i was done i told Mom to not move and jumped down and she picked that time to move to right where i was jumping so in mid-air i had to twist to avoid her and landed on my chest on the wooden floor. i'm lucky i didn't break my neck but bruised ribs weren't much fun for a while after that.

now what i try to do is to really make sure that she won't move or i ask her to go someplace else entirely. it's a lot safer. also now we have a joke where i'll make beeping noises so she knows where i am at if i'm behind her and she's doing better at telling me she's behind me.

like you when we get back from going out there's usually take-out and i'm really hungry so i want to eat too and Mom is also hungry so we put away the frozen and cold stuff and then eat and then finish up putting away the rest of the things after that.

I also wish I could break her of her "Can I take that in for you?/What is this?" habit. Not her offer to do so (that's fine) but her habit of grabbing for the item BEFORE the words get out of her mouth, often agitating them in the process (a problem when , for example, I have put a cup with some seeds down and am waiting for them to settle to the bottom so I can pour the fluid off.)

And, of course the time she asked me if she should throw out some spices...…..AFTER she had tossed them in the garbage pail! (fortunately, she tossed them out IN their plastic bags, so I was able to retrieve them.)

 

[Phaedra]

 

[Marie2020]

i am here to help, but that doesn't mean i have to be stupid about it.

when we go shopping together the deal is that i'll carry it all in and help Mom put it away but that it works best if she just stays out of the way until i get things carried in because i don't want moving targets or her being in the way, it just slows things down way too much. hang back a few moments please. zippitydoodah, and then it's done. then we can get on with putting things away and there's no risk she'll walk behind me when i'm turning around quick to get back out the door, etc...

when we shop usually there is both the trunk and the backseat full so it isn't a one-time trip up and down the garage door stairs or back out again (and then there's the damned useless bags which rip and drop things out of them all over the place and ...).

Yep, those dreadful bags not to mention the idiot storage some foods and placed in, pockets that rip losing you most of the food contained inside.