The good, the bad and the ugly

[Smart Red]

I certainly don't consider offering an answer for DH after a brief chance to respond as enabling. We are a team as in -- and the two shall become one -- and he has helped me in situations where I couldn't answer.

I've done all the driving for the past 2 years. He said it was my car so I had to drive, but I suspected he didn't see well. I have always answered the phone when we are both home. In fact, I have spoiled him badly in our many years together. We have a long history of me trying to make things run smoothly for him.

Helping to "hide the extent of his disability" is an act of caring and necessary to keeping him a part of society. I think it isn't a problem as long as I do not deny what is happening or fool myself into believing it is not serious. I don't. I also share what I see happening when I speak to our children so family knows and can help or plan accordingly.

So, yes, @so lucky, DH and I are comparable to your parents in many ways.

@dewdropsinwv, how is Dad doing with his therapy? At his age, his attitude will make all the difference in getting back.

 

[Gardening with Rabbits]

I remember bringing my Dad to a Dr. when he was near the end. His hearing was poor and is eyesight was poor. The doctor, who did not know him, asked me how long he had dementia. I believe it is important to have a lifelong physician who really knows you and your loved ones. He was nearly as sharp as always mentally but the other issues made the 5 minute examination look like dementia. Be very careful that he is not removed from your home by some agency until you decide that is necessary. You need to get your finances in order so that a long nursing home stay does not leave you homeless. All states have different laws and you must protect yourself. I'm sure your husband's behavior looks different to others than it does to you. Did he have a MRI when he got injured? They should compare those results to the knew ones. Hope things get better.

Very good advice. My mother and I took over the care of my aunt who was 90 years old. She was never married, part Indian, and very, very, private and very independent, living alone. She had broke a hip and went to a nursing home and we had her moved to our house. I took her to the doctor for some reason and she just sat there and never said a word. The doctor THOUGHT she was demented. My mother eventually had to be put in a nursing home and medication was causing her to have dementia. She had a kidney infection and something else and they put her on comfort care because they told us she would only live 3 months. She went to a nursing home and lived a year and a half. She again had an infection and had to go to the hospital and I did not know the comfort care was still on her record. She was breathing odd and swelled with fluid. She had congestive heart failure in the past. They did nothing, no oxygen, and at the time, I did not understand and kept asking why is she breathing like this and she died without any help. My neighbor took his wife to the hospital, and they would not release her to home because he needed a ramp and other things before IT WAS SAFE for her to return, so she went to a nursing home until HE passed inspection.

 

[dewdropsinwv]

@Smart Red Dad had a mild set back last night. His oxygen level dropped and they moved him to critical care, only because they didn't have any space for him on the 7th floor. He will spend another night in the critical care unit then be moved tomorrow (hopefully) back to the 7th floor. .. and hopefully back into rehab in a few days.