Garden humor thread..

Carol Dee

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This is for @baymule ;)
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baymule

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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.


The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
 

baymule

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Installing Your Husband... Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

*****

DEAR DESPERATE,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Support
 

Smart Red

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:gig:yuckyuck:gig Very cute, @baymule.

Fortunately for me, I acquired Husband 1.0 before the proliferation of viral programming problems so Consideration 1.2, Respect 1.0, and Commitment 100.0 have been the only applications I need to run. That left lots of room for Memory and Gaming programs.
 

baymule

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@Smart Red I think these directions apply to the newer models. Fortunately for you and me, we have older models. Slightly out of date, but very well programmed to suit all our needs and wants. :lol:
 
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