897tgigvib
Garden Master
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Whew!
I've never seen a stinkbug far as i know.
I've never seen a stinkbug far as i know.
...I hate alcoholics....
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baymule
Garden Master
never seen a stinkbug?? 
thistlebloom
Garden Master
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Okay, somebody send Marshall a box of stinkbugs! He can't continue to go through life being so sheltered!
baymule
Garden Master
Oh, I like the way you think!! MUHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
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Control stink bugs
Can't even have the house sprayed, too close to pasture and pond, would poison/kill them as well.
Tried all sorts of chemicals on the ones that sit on the screen, nothing really works. Maybe acid would, but that would also ruin the screen and the smell, oh the awful smell!!!
ninnymary
Garden Master
Well, I've never smelled horse, never smelled or seen a stinkbug, and never tasted roasted chestnuts. So there...
Mary
Mary
MontyJ
Deeply Rooted
I haven't been online in a very long time, so most of you probably don't remember me 
I had some free time this evening before packing to go out of town yet again so thought I would pop in. I found this thread and have read it with interest. You see, I am an alcoholic. I freely admit it. Dew knew it when she married me. I made it a point to tell her so. She tried to change me at first, but I stood my ground. That is not a joke, nor meant to be funny. I explained to her a few things about me. 1) I like my cold beer. 2) I am non-violent and would never hurt her. 3) I have a conscience. I would never say anything to her that would hurt her, drinking or not. 4) I will never endanger the family finances with my drinking. 5) I will never let my drinking affect my job, nor will I ever drink on the job. She accepted that, and still married me. I'll let her tell you if she regrets it.
Not all alcoholics are the same. Some are fully functional, respectable people who work hard and enjoy their drink. These people are kind, normal, and hard working. Some alcoholics are very different. They can be very nice while sober, but turn into violent animals when they have had a few. Still others are the type that can't go a day without getting drunk off their butt. They will do whatever it takes to get that next drink.
IN MY OPINION:
An alcoholic is someone who craves alcohol. It's an addiction. A person who gets tanked up now and then is not an alcoholic. An alcoholic will suffer from withdrawals if forced to go without alcohol for an extended period of time. That period of time depends on the alcoholic. For me, it's a few days. I don't have to get hammered; a few beers after work can be enough. One problem for many alcoholics is numbers. As in, one is too many, and a 12 pack isn't enough. Since I have already admitted to being an alcoholic, I'll even go so far as telling you how much I drink. I probably go through a 30 pack of Bud Light a week, give or take, depending on work, household chores, weekend activities, etc. Do I get stinky drunk every night? No. Do I get stinky drunk on occasion? Yep. Do I pass out on the living room floor or throw up in the kitchen sink? No. I know my limit, and it knows me.
So, I am only one example of a true alcoholic.
My question for you is: Is your husband a true alcoholic, and cannot go without, or does he simply enjoy drinking to get drunk? There is a difference. The former will take a lot of work to change; the latter can be asked to change, and will if he wants to. I am the former.
Many people say the toughest thing for an alcoholic to do is to admit he has a problem. That's not true. A true alcoholic knows he has a problem (whether he admits it openly or not). But there are other tough questions that are never asked. The following is not meant to stand up for the rights of the alcoholic or the casual drinker, but more to enlighten.
THE TOUGH QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO ASK YOURSELF:
Don't take this the wrong way. I don't know your circumstances or the level of your husbands alcohol use, but from your posts, you strike me as the type of person who has a zero tolerance for alcohol. I don't have a problem with that. But are you calling him an alcoholic simply because he drinks, or because he truly is an alcoholic? You also mentioned his weight. Did you marry his physique or his personality? Did you know of his alcohol use before you married him? You obviously have a love of animals and gardening. Did he share that love, and change over time?
Believe me, I'm NOT trying to lay anything at your doorstep. The older members here will understand when I say... is it alcoholism...or buyers remorse.
As an alcoholic, I can offer this advice:
If he is kind, hard working, knows his limit, and loves you with all of his heart, and you love him, keep him and learn to accept the fact that he drinks now and then. Not all drinkers are, nor will become, alcoholics. But try to limit his drinking activities if possible. That's often easier said than done, especially at his age.
If he is all of the above but drinks to the point of affecting his job or household chores, and you truly love him, ask him to get help, and help him get help. If he loves you, he will try, and will probably succeed if he's not in too deep.
If he is verbally or physically abusive, get the hell out right now. There is no correcting that behavior. Too many women have suffered at the hands of an abusive asshole in the name of love.
And finally, I have to say it because it needs to be said...if you're using his alcohol use as a reason to get out of the marriage because of different life interests, don't. I understand you don't like alcohol, or smoking. You must have known he smoked when you married him (most people do not start smoking in their late twenties), so bringing that into the equation is unfair to him. You knew it going in. Ditto the alcohol use, unless it has progressed to unacceptable levels since the marriage. Do both of you a favor and look deep inside yourself and really evaluate whether it's his alcohol use that is causing the problem, or maybe an incompatibility problem to begin with. If you really love him, and he loves you, you may just find some happy ground in the middle if you try to get him involved with you outside. If he refuses to get involved with the outside activities you love so much, you still have two choices. Love him for who he is, as long as he loves you, provides for you and is kind to you...or decide that you want someone who shares your interests and is alcohol and smoke free.
Interestingly enough, Dew and I had the opposite problem when it came to outside activities. I have always loved being outside, gardening, raising animals, etc...while Dew stayed inside more. But, as we got older, Dew has now become as "outside" as I am. People can and do change. It all depends on how long you are willing to wait. I love Dew so much that I didn't care if she ever came out or not. We have been together for 25 years and it's only in the last few years that she has shown any interest in gardening. It didn't make me love her any less. We simply had different interests. The difference is, she tolerated my drinking (and does to this day), and I have tolerated doing all of the outside chores by myself. You have to look inside yourself and see if true love is really there. If it is, all will be well. It might be rocky for a bit, but it will get better.
I had some free time this evening before packing to go out of town yet again so thought I would pop in. I found this thread and have read it with interest. You see, I am an alcoholic. I freely admit it. Dew knew it when she married me. I made it a point to tell her so. She tried to change me at first, but I stood my ground. That is not a joke, nor meant to be funny. I explained to her a few things about me. 1) I like my cold beer. 2) I am non-violent and would never hurt her. 3) I have a conscience. I would never say anything to her that would hurt her, drinking or not. 4) I will never endanger the family finances with my drinking. 5) I will never let my drinking affect my job, nor will I ever drink on the job. She accepted that, and still married me. I'll let her tell you if she regrets it.Not all alcoholics are the same. Some are fully functional, respectable people who work hard and enjoy their drink. These people are kind, normal, and hard working. Some alcoholics are very different. They can be very nice while sober, but turn into violent animals when they have had a few. Still others are the type that can't go a day without getting drunk off their butt. They will do whatever it takes to get that next drink.
IN MY OPINION:
An alcoholic is someone who craves alcohol. It's an addiction. A person who gets tanked up now and then is not an alcoholic. An alcoholic will suffer from withdrawals if forced to go without alcohol for an extended period of time. That period of time depends on the alcoholic. For me, it's a few days. I don't have to get hammered; a few beers after work can be enough. One problem for many alcoholics is numbers. As in, one is too many, and a 12 pack isn't enough. Since I have already admitted to being an alcoholic, I'll even go so far as telling you how much I drink. I probably go through a 30 pack of Bud Light a week, give or take, depending on work, household chores, weekend activities, etc. Do I get stinky drunk every night? No. Do I get stinky drunk on occasion? Yep. Do I pass out on the living room floor or throw up in the kitchen sink? No. I know my limit, and it knows me.
So, I am only one example of a true alcoholic.
My question for you is: Is your husband a true alcoholic, and cannot go without, or does he simply enjoy drinking to get drunk? There is a difference. The former will take a lot of work to change; the latter can be asked to change, and will if he wants to. I am the former.
Many people say the toughest thing for an alcoholic to do is to admit he has a problem. That's not true. A true alcoholic knows he has a problem (whether he admits it openly or not). But there are other tough questions that are never asked. The following is not meant to stand up for the rights of the alcoholic or the casual drinker, but more to enlighten.
THE TOUGH QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO ASK YOURSELF:
Don't take this the wrong way. I don't know your circumstances or the level of your husbands alcohol use, but from your posts, you strike me as the type of person who has a zero tolerance for alcohol. I don't have a problem with that. But are you calling him an alcoholic simply because he drinks, or because he truly is an alcoholic? You also mentioned his weight. Did you marry his physique or his personality? Did you know of his alcohol use before you married him? You obviously have a love of animals and gardening. Did he share that love, and change over time?
Believe me, I'm NOT trying to lay anything at your doorstep. The older members here will understand when I say... is it alcoholism...or buyers remorse.
As an alcoholic, I can offer this advice:
If he is kind, hard working, knows his limit, and loves you with all of his heart, and you love him, keep him and learn to accept the fact that he drinks now and then. Not all drinkers are, nor will become, alcoholics. But try to limit his drinking activities if possible. That's often easier said than done, especially at his age.
If he is all of the above but drinks to the point of affecting his job or household chores, and you truly love him, ask him to get help, and help him get help. If he loves you, he will try, and will probably succeed if he's not in too deep.
If he is verbally or physically abusive, get the hell out right now. There is no correcting that behavior. Too many women have suffered at the hands of an abusive asshole in the name of love.
And finally, I have to say it because it needs to be said...if you're using his alcohol use as a reason to get out of the marriage because of different life interests, don't. I understand you don't like alcohol, or smoking. You must have known he smoked when you married him (most people do not start smoking in their late twenties), so bringing that into the equation is unfair to him. You knew it going in. Ditto the alcohol use, unless it has progressed to unacceptable levels since the marriage. Do both of you a favor and look deep inside yourself and really evaluate whether it's his alcohol use that is causing the problem, or maybe an incompatibility problem to begin with. If you really love him, and he loves you, you may just find some happy ground in the middle if you try to get him involved with you outside. If he refuses to get involved with the outside activities you love so much, you still have two choices. Love him for who he is, as long as he loves you, provides for you and is kind to you...or decide that you want someone who shares your interests and is alcohol and smoke free.
Interestingly enough, Dew and I had the opposite problem when it came to outside activities. I have always loved being outside, gardening, raising animals, etc...while Dew stayed inside more. But, as we got older, Dew has now become as "outside" as I am. People can and do change. It all depends on how long you are willing to wait. I love Dew so much that I didn't care if she ever came out or not. We have been together for 25 years and it's only in the last few years that she has shown any interest in gardening. It didn't make me love her any less. We simply had different interests. The difference is, she tolerated my drinking (and does to this day), and I have tolerated doing all of the outside chores by myself. You have to look inside yourself and see if true love is really there. If it is, all will be well. It might be rocky for a bit, but it will get better.
AMKuska
Garden Master
My mother has bad alcohol problems. She can't go a single day without drinking anything, and when she visited my house and found nothing to drink she chugged my cooking wine so she could get her fix. She's not mean or anything when she drinks, but she won't even admit she's had too many, even when she's telling me how I'm going to ride a bicycle with her to the other side of the country during the "End times".
It's really difficult to adjust to, and I'm glad that I no longer live there.
My husband switched to a vaperizer a year or so ago, and I love it. He's down to only 6 mg of nicotine, from 26. Goal is to not need it at all eventually. So proud of him.
It's really difficult to adjust to, and I'm glad that I no longer live there.
My husband switched to a vaperizer a year or so ago, and I love it. He's down to only 6 mg of nicotine, from 26. Goal is to not need it at all eventually.
So proud of him.
Just-Moxie
Garden Addicted
I never really had an opinion of an alcoholic...till I met one in 2000. He had issues. 15 yrs older than me.
He would drink 15 beers a night, after work...then at 10:30 pm demand that it was time to go bar hopping, and that I didn't need to sleep. Not that it mattered that I had a fulltime job myself.
I was in that relationship for 4 yrs..till I called it quits. I caught him in a sober moment, and told him we were NOT in a relationship. Roommates was more like it. And it just was not working for me.
Now...I run the other way with alcoholics.
I do not drink by the way.
He would drink 15 beers a night, after work...then at 10:30 pm demand that it was time to go bar hopping, and that I didn't need to sleep. Not that it mattered that I had a fulltime job myself.
I was in that relationship for 4 yrs..till I called it quits. I caught him in a sober moment, and told him we were NOT in a relationship. Roommates was more like it. And it just was not working for me.
Now...I run the other way with alcoholics.
I do not drink by the way.
