Family

[Nyboy]

Words of wisdom Red thanks

 

[seedcorn]

Here is the problem in helping people out like that. True story but names changed to protect the guilty...

First Mom helps married couple out, then parents of son bails them out, then mom again. She dies, then Dad helps out. Dad dies, they walk away from all debts leaving bank holding the bills...... Real problem is this. 2 kids, guess what they learn? Or don't learn. Then your child marries one of them, have kids.... Guess what they are taught?

We all know what should have been done.

 

[Nyboy]

Was just invited to baby shower by tx. At least they knew better then ask me to pay for it.

 

[Smart Red]

Or the children see how difficult that way of life is financially. Maverick has his life well-planned out -- has had since 5th grade -- to do well in school, get the military to pay his way through college, become a wealthy lawyer and eventually go into politics. He works hard already earning money for what he wants and has achieved high honor roll every grading period since starting 7th grade.

He understands the electricity gets turned off when the bill is not paid. He won't live that way himself.

Gypsy is more of a dreamer, but she volunteers her time in community service -- for the third year now -- getting up before 6:00 on Saturday morning and finishing up nearly 2 hours after the market has closed at 1:00 pm. She is also getting good grades in school despite her unusual sense of humor, dress, social norms.

She earns money cleaning for me. Moving all the furniture to clean and dust behind it once a month. Hard work for a just turned teenager. Her dreams are always of owning her own business -- she intends to take business and math courses in college -- although what she owns changes with the breeze. She is independent, fits in with grown-up conversation, and won't live the way her parents have chosen.

 

[Smart Red]

Was just invited to baby shower by tx. At least they knew better then ask me to pay for it.

THEY Does this mean he is willing to assume responsibility to mother and child as more than occasionally sending money?

 

[Nyboy]

Maybe in the beginning. He told me once he wanted to be a better dad then his father was. A short time later he was doing all things his father did. I guess it is true about apple falling not far from tree.

 

[so lucky]

Nyboy, it is probably up to you to be a father figure to him. He may rarely do what you suggest, but he will at least know what is the right way.

 

[seedcorn]

Maybe in the beginning. He told me once he wanted to be a better dad then his father was. A short time later he was doing all things his father did. I guess it is true about apple falling not far from tree.

Hard truth but still the truth. We end up with a lot of our parents habits-good or bad.

 

[digitS']

I don't know. As the mail carrier drives and walks around on a miserable day of rain and 33° - I feel guilty for having gotten back indoors where it's warm and dry! I bet he was counting the minutes until he could do the same. Pride in work performance only takes you so far.

We don't value caregiving enough, and it's not the same thing but, I will include educating a younger generation in that. That's especially true lately and as parenting became more difficult, educating did, also.

We don't need all the workers. Industry has automation and few can live on their own self-employment. That takes unique skills. Instead, teamwork is necessary. We usually call them "companies" but international outsourcing is the name of the modern game of business. It leads to a race to the bottom for wages.

We have to do better finding a path to financial independence for our young people! And, stop procreating so many of them.

Steve

 

[Smart Red]

Hard truth but still the truth. We end up with a lot of our parents habits-good or bad.

Not always, seedcorn. I spent my second decade of life watching and copying the mothers of my friends. I am NOT MY MOTHER in any way other than genetics. In fact, I always told my children that if I ever started acting like my mother they were to tell me.

Once my daughter brought it up. She wasn't exactly right, but close enough that I had to step back.