Family

[catjac1975]

Sh-h-h-h-h!

Giving advice about sponging relatives is easy. Everyone knows what should -- perhaps must -- be done to give them a chance to turn around. Taking that advice when it is a loved one is not so easy.

I won't attempt to give you any advice other than you should do what you feel you must. My dear son got into (minor) drugs for a few years (17-21). Once I turned him in. Cost me over $5,000 in court costs for my efforts. The last time it cost me a $10,000 car.

Once he got married he changed. He was a stay at home dad for most of his children's toddler years (mom was making $65,000 and his work just covered babysitters) and he did a great job with my grandchildren. He is a big help with his dad now and is doing all the work in the basement.

However, he does not have a good job. . (later). Good news! His wishy-washy employer says he has "lots of work" for him building furniture. That means DS will be gainfully employed AND working here at home all day. Win/win for DH and us!

I feel he should get a job with some security, but he loves working with wood and being -- more or less -- his own boss. The company considers our son to be an "independent contractor" rather than an employee. And the brothers running the company owe their lives to the IRS so making more or less money doesn't excite them. Neither can they rebuild the company since both parents died, because everything was left in sister's name. . . again, because of their debts to the IRS.

At the present time, we've been supporting him and his family far above what anyone should expect in their old age. Not just emergencies, but doctor, dentist, school, clothes, supplies, and cash when needed. We also own his house -- they stopped paying on it after a few years -- pay their house taxes, usually their water charges, house insurance,(to keep the property) and, since he's driving my truck, his auto insurance and all his petrol.

All this is done more with the welfare of my grandchildren in mind then to help DS and DIL (who has always worked). I keep saying DS will be in for a big shock once Gypsy is out of the house and the "Child Support" stops. That's what I now say, but who knows what the future will bring.

So, @Nyboy, do I join the chorus and tell you how to handle your nephew and his problems? I think not. Just know that I hope for the best and support any decision you have to live with.

Wow, Red.

 

[seedcorn]

@Smart Red , we do carry on our families characteristics. Both bad and GOOD. Some people clearly choose to imitate the good things they observe. When stressed, we then may imitate the bad.

 

[baymule]

Nyboy, you are a good man. Your nephew is blessed to have you. I have no criticism for you and no solution either. Your nephew needs a good sit down talk with his uncle, man to man. You are his anchor in the storm of life, I hope he can pull it together. It's not right for the children to be brought up without their father.

 

[Nyboy]

We are having dinner tonight. @baymule next time your lambs are castrated can you film and post how its done?

 

[Carol Dee]

REALLY ?

 

[seedcorn]

We are having dinner tonight. @baymule next time your lambs are castrated can you film and post how its done?

Now we are talking..... @baymule make sure the sound is ON. This should be mandatory for all 14 year old boys to see...

 

[Smart Red]

We are having dinner tonight. @baymule next time your lambs are castrated can you film and post how its done?

This IS for your nephew's benefit, right? Not something you plan to add to your business endeavors?

 

[Nyboy]

Animals all safe Red LOL

 

[baymule]

We are having dinner tonight. @baymule next time your lambs are castrated can you film and post how its done?

It's not hard to do.......pretty simple actually....

Edited to add; would you like a graphic, blow by blow description??

 

[Carol Dee]

We are waiting @Nyboy how did it go last night?